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Yourii affected not to hear it and strove to think of something else. But his mind reverted to this thought without ceasing; it tormented him even to bitter tears. When Lida Sanine received Lialia's invitation, she showed it to her brother. She thought that he would refuse; in fact, she hoped as much.
"All right," said Ivanoff, as he released him, not noticing his irritation. "We will wait for you, so mind you come." "Very well." Thus, laughing and gesticulating, they departed. The court-yard became silent and solemn as before. Yourii took off his cap, and in a mood half-mocking, half shy, he entered the church. He at once perceived Sina, close to one of the dark pillars.
No one could see or hear them.... To Yourii such a thought seemed unutterably base. He quickly banished it, and said: "Suppose we try?" His voice trembled. Could Sina have read his thoughts? "Try what?" she asked. "Suppose I fire?" said Yourii, producing his revolver. "Will the earth fall in on us?" "I don't know," he replied, though he felt certain that nothing would happen. "Are you afraid?"
When Yourii ceased talking, Dubova, meditating on her own dull, monotonous existence and vanishing youth without joy or love, asked him in a low voice, "Tell me, Yourii, has the thought of suicide never crossed your mind?" "Why do you ask me that?" "Oh! well, I don't know ..." They said no more. "You are on the committee, aren't you?" asked Sina eagerly.
The whole affair is deplorable, but it is entirely due to Sarudine's stupidity." "Oh! I think that the real reason lies deeper," said Yourii sadly. "Sarudine lived in a certain set that..." Ivanoff shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, and the very fact that he lived in, and was influenced by, such an idiotic set is only proof positive that he was a fool." Yourii rubbed his hands and said nothing.
As Yourii shut the door he heard Sanine saying to Ilitsch, "Of course you're not like children; they can't distinguish good from bad; they are simple and natural; and that is why they " Then the door was closed, and all was still. High in the heavens shone the moon, and the cool night-air touched Yourii's brow.
"Yes Schafroff, Svarogitsch, Ivanoff ..." "Oh! Yourii Nicolaijevitsch is with you, is he?" asked Sina, and she blushed. To utter the name of him she loved sent a thrill through her as though she were looking down into some precipice. "Why do you ask?" "Because er I met him," she answered, blushing deeper. "Well, good-bye!" Sanine gently held her proffered hand in his.
In a feeble, awkward way he again commenced to caress her, while she as feebly, and awkwardly resisted him. To Yourii the situation now seemed so absolutely absurd, that he released Sina, who was panting like some hunted wild animal. There was a painful silence, suddenly, he said: "Forgive me ... I must be mad."
This pure, charming girl in one short phrase had thus in naive, trusting fashion revealed to him the secret of her love. It was as though she had come to him, helpless and pained, unable to resist the love that made her give herself up to him, yet not knowing what might befall. So near to him now seemed the goal, that Yourii trembled at the thought of possession.
I cannot say how I should have behaved in Sanine's place. Of course, duelling's stupid, and to fight with fists is not much better." "But what is a man to do if he's compelled to fight?" said Sina. Yourii shrugged his shoulders. "It's for Soloveitchik that we ought to be sorry," said Riasantzeff, after a pause. The words contrasted strangely with his cheerful countenance.
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