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"Come, give me the deep, the grateful joy of thinking I can minister to your future comforts. I was the cause of all your wretchedness; but for me, Godolphin would have been yours for ever would probably, by marriage, have redressed your wrongs; but for me you would not have wandered an outcast over the inhospitable world. Let me in something repair what I have cost you. Speak to me, Lucilla!"
It is nourished only by the good things of this world, and, if it cannot obtain them, is converted into the greater wretchedness because the being who is dearest in life shares this wretchedness.
On her story I have no time to dwell; it was fall of wretchedness, which had caused her, about a year ago, to make an attempt at suicide. A little generosity, and Clara might have helped to soothe the pains of one so much weaker than herself; but noble feeling was extinct in the girl, or so nearly extinct that a breath of petty rivalry could make her base, cruel, remorseless.
It seems to express all the wretchedness of one who neither has house nor home a vagabond and outcast of society. At last, when these unfeeling people saw that I was determined, at all events, to stay there all night, they gave me a bed, but not till I had long given up all hopes of getting one.
She perceived it at every breath she drew, and not for a minute would it let her forget her wrecked happiness, and the wretchedness of her heart, till the heavy sweetness of the flowers became more unendurable than the most pungent odor, and she drew the coverlet over her head to escape this new torment; but she soon cast it off again, for she thought she should be suffocated under it.
He opened her door timidly. There she lay, the picture of wretchedness. On the toilet-table, in a white silk handkerchief, was his hair, smoothed and combed. She lay there in her lace-trimmed nightgown, great tears rolling down her cheeks. He had come, intending to throw himself into her arms and beg her pardon a thousand times.
I knew well enough I could knock you down if I had only wanted to. But I didn't dare strike out, just out of sheer wretchedness. I saw so much that you others couldn't see. Damn it all, I can't make head nor tail of it! It must have been my mother's dreadful misery that was still in my bones.
An unpublished entry for October 27, 1822, reads: "Before when I wrote Mathilda, miserable as I was, the inspiration was sufficient to quell my wretchedness temporarily." The full passage follows: "Little harm has my imagination done to me & how much good!
He was moved in spite of himself to grieve over Rosa Elsworthy's great misfortune. "Poor little deluded child," he said, sadly; "I acknowledge it is very dreadful for her and for her friends. I can excuse a man who is mad with grief and wretchedness and anxiety, and doesn't know what he is saying.
He seemed for a moment fronting some invisible foe, then, smothering his wrath, he went on: "I lose control of myself when I think of what I have seen the suffering, the misery, and the wretchedness.
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