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"It's a problem for one o' them smart detecatifs ye read abeout in the magazines one o' them like they have in stories. I read abeout one of 'em in a story. Yeou leave him smell the puffumery on a gal's handkerchief and he'll tell right away whether she was a blonde or a brunette, an' what size glove she wore! Haw! haw! haw! "This ain't no laughing matter, Walky," Mr.
Who ever told Walky Dexter 't he could sing?" "It's what he's been drinking that's doing the singing, I tell ye," said her son. "Poor Walky!" sighed Janice. The expressman's complaint of his hard lot continued to rise in song: "'I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't even wash; I'd jest set still a thousand years, And rest myself, b'gosh!" "Whoa, Josephus!"
"A feller can't re'lly have the heart ter vote for whiskey 'nless ther's whiskey in him," said Walky, at the close of the voting on Town Meeting Day. "How about that, Cross Moore? We dry fellers have walked over ye in great shape ain't that so?" "I admit you have carried' the day, Walky," said the selectman, grimly. "He! he! I sh'd say we had! Purty near two ter one. Wal!
"Yep," said Massey, the druggist, at his front door, and whom the expressman had hailed. "And here comes the procession." From up the hill came a troop of boys most of them belonging in the upper class of the school. Marty was one of them, and in their midst walked the young schoolmaster! "I snum!" ejaculated Walky. "I guess that feller ain't got no friends oh, no!" and he chuckled.
Walky is pretty well screwed-up, isn't he? I just saw him at the hotel taking what he calls a 'snifter." "Poor Walky!" sighed Janice. "Poor Josephus, I should say," rejoined Frank quickly. The expressman was turning the old horse on the empty dock. There was plenty of room for this manoeuver; but Walky Dexter's eyesight was not what it should be.
We are going to hold a temperance meeting Mr. Middler and I have talked it over. And I have obtained Elder Concannon's promise to be one of those on the platform. Polktown must be waked up " "What! Again? Haw! haw! haw!" burst out Walky. "Jefers-pelters, Janice Day! You've abeout give Polktown insomnia already! I sh'd say our eyes was purty well opened "
The boys had found it and dared each other to taste the stuff. "It's purty bad stuff 'at Lem sells, I allow," observed Walky Dexter. "No wonder it settled them boys. It's got a 'kick' to it wuss'n Josephus had that time the swarm of bees lit on him." The town was ablaze with the story of the boys' escapade on Wednesday afternoon when Janice came back from Middletown.
Especially was there a large number of women, and it was notorious that on that particular Monday more housewives were late with their weekly wash than ever before in the annals of Polktown. "Jefers-pelters!" muttered Walky Dexter, as he urged Josephus into High Street on his first trip downtown. "What's got ev'rybody? Circus in town? If so, it must ha' slipped my mind."
'Fore you came, Miss Janice, if Marty was diggin' in the garden an' found a worm, he thought he was goin' fishin' and got him a bait can and a pole, an' set right off for the lake that's right!" and Walky shook all over, and grew so red in the face over his joke that Janice was really afraid he was becoming apoplectic.
"Who from?" demanded Massey, sticking to his text, and that only. "Young Joe Bodley, of the Lake View Inn." "Joe Bodley! Why, he was abed when them coins was stolen I know that," blurted out the druggist, very much disappointed. "Lem Parraday 'tends bar himself forenoons, for Joe's allus up till past midnight. You know that, Walky." "Ya-as f'r sure," agreed the expressman.
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