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I can love him now as something abstract, unreal, and divine: but what would be my shame, my grief, if I were to find him less than I have imagined! Then, indeed, my life would have been wasted; then, indeed, the beauty of the earth would be gone!" The good nurse was not very capable of sympathizing with sentiments like these.
But there is another effect of her "black drop" which is not so commonly recognized. Old age is like an opium-dream. Nothing seems real except what is unreal. I am sure that the pictures painted by the imagination, the faded frescos on the walls of memory, come out in clearer and brighter colors than belonged to them many years earlier.
He quitted the sunny bare space, the kirkyard and the woman sitting with her basket of marigolds and pansies. But two nights later he came to this place alone. The moon was full. It hung like a wonder lantern above the hill and the kirk; it made the kirkyard cloth of silver. The yews stood unreal, or with a delicate, other reality. It was neither warm nor cold.
I am not raising a merely fanciful and unreal objection. Very learned men, in former days, have even entertained the notion that all the formed things found in rocks are of this nature; and if no such conception is at present held to be admissible, it is because long and varied experience has now shown that mineral matter never does assume the form and structure we find in fossils.
When he had been in Green Valley only a few weeks the old life began to grow vague and unreal. The mother was real and near. But the splendid figure of his father was fading into a strange memory. He was a father to be proud of, that strong, cool, selfless man who had asked nothing of life but to take what it would of him. He had seemed so towering, so enduring, that preacher father.
But the terrible silence and emptiness seemed to symbolize her future she felt as though the house, the street, the world were all empty, and she alone left sentient in a lifeless universe. But this was the verge of delirium . . . she had never hung so near the dizzy brink of the unreal. Sleep was what she wanted she remembered that she had not closed her eyes for two nights.
The outcome of all this is that unreal Bondage which appears in the form of a plurality of knowing subjects, objects of knowledge, &c., is put an end to by the injunctions of meditation, the fruit of which is direct intuitive knowledge of Brahman.
Confidence is like a lute-string, giving forth sweet sounds in its perfection; there are none so discordant as when it snaps. Victoria scarcely heard Austen's acknowledgments of her kindness, so perfunctory did they seem, so unlike the man she had known; and her own protestations that she had done nothing to merit his thanks were to her quite as unreal. She introduced him to the Englishman. "Mr.
Here was I starving for no high principle, only for the common-place one of paying my debts; and paying my debts out of the church's money too, for which, scanty as it was, I gave wretched labour reading prayers as neatly as I could, and preaching sermons half evangelical, half scholastic, of the most unreal and uninteresting sort; feeling all the time hypocritical, as I have already said; and without the farthest prospect of deliverance.
Confidence is like a lute-string, giving forth sweet sounds in its perfection; there are none so discordant as when it snaps. Victoria scarcely heard Austen's acknowledgments of her kindness, so perfunctory did they seem, so unlike the man she had known; and her own protestations that she had done nothing to merit his thanks were to her quite as unreal. She introduced him to the Englishman. "Mr.
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