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That nite father slep on a lounge in my room. i went to sleep most as soon as he come in. after awhile i dremp i was tied on a sawlog jest going nearer and nearer to the saw and the saw was a going skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo. well i tride to pull away but i coodent move and i tride to holler and i coodent make a yip, and jest before the saw sawed into me i woke up. gosh you bet i was glad, but the funny part was that i could hear the saw going skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, and what do you think it was. it was father snoring. gosh you ought to have heard him. well at first i laffed, but by and by i wanted to go to sleep and father snoring so loud i coodent till mother came in and told him to go to bed and she laid on the sofa all nite. the next day i set up and had my britches on and set up to the window all day. i saw Beany and Pewt and i nocked on the window and waved my claw at them. i am going out tomorrow.
Keene and Cele felt prety big becaus they was in the seminary and Aunt Sarah felt prety big becaus she had on her earings and her dolman and father felt prety big becaus i was going to get a prise. well first old Francis said a prayer and everyone bowed there heads and father bowed his two but i saw him peek out under his hand. well then we all sung and Mary Emery plaid the organ. then our class resited and Nipper xplained his sum about the geese and then Potter spoke a peace and then Pricilla plaid and sung his peace. then there was a dialog and then we sung sum more. then old Francis opened his desk and took out a little riting desk and said it had been prety hard to tell whitch was the best scolar becaus they was 3 boys who were so near together. so he would give the riting desk to Arthur Goram and the glass inkstand to Johnny Brown and the stamp colecters book to Charly Hobbs. so when he give them Potter and Nipper and Pricilla stood up and bowd and said thank you. if they had been so smart they aught to have a speach ready. ennyway i had my speach all ready. then old Francis said there was one boy who had grate talents and was a very brite boy but owing to his fondness for play had not done as well as he shood. but he had showed such talent that he aught to be menshioned espesially as he had been studying much better laitly. when old Francis said that aunt Sarah and Keene and Cele set up strate and father tride to look as if he dident know who he meant and i said my speach over soft, to be sure i had it rite. then old Francis said i have selected as a present for this boy a book, and the name of this boy is, and then he stoped a moment and i cood almost hear my heart thumping, and then he said Johnny Chickering.
My rooster is pretty sick. i tride to give him some kiann pepper tonite. father said kiann pepper was good for sick hens, so i held his mouth open and give him a spoonful. when i let him go he kept his mouth open and sorter sneezed pip-craw pip-craw pip-craw, and then he went to the water dish and began to drink. i think he is better because he hadent drank any water for 2 days before. he was still drinking when i went away. i gess he will be a lot better tomorrow.
Aug. 11. brite and fair. i cant help laffing every time i think of Pewt getting licked. it is a good one on Pewt. Aug. 12. brite and fair. tonite me and Beany tride the same trick on Nipper. we saw Nip go down town and we rung Bill Greenleefs bell 2 times before Nip come back. we hid in old Ike Shutes porch and peeked out of a little window.
More happie than the Patriarches were I, if crusht to death with the greatest torments Romes tyrants haue tride, there might be quintessenst out of me one quart of precious poyson. I haue a leg with an issue, shall I cut it off, and from his fount of corruption extract a venome worse than anie serpents?
June 10. brite and fair. the baby had the croop last nite. the minit he coffed croopy father and mother jumped out of bed and father he fell over a chair and that waked us all up. then he tride to lite a lamp and he coodent find the maches and he swoar round feerful. well mother she lit the lamp and they all went tearing round and they got sum hot water and made the baby eat some eg and sugar and put hot close on his neck and prety soon he was all rite. then they give me the rest of the eg and sugar. then we all went to bed and i lay and laffed to think of father tumbling over the chair and swaring.
Then we asked how mutch he wood sell her for and he said he wanted 5 dolers for her but he wood let us have her for 2 dolars and fifty cents and we could have the wagon for 2 dolars and fifty cents two, and he wood throw in the harnes. but we dident have the money and so we tride to swap and bimeby he said if i wood give him my gun and Fatty wood give him his silver pensil case and Beany give him his 6 bladed nife he wood trust us for a month. so we give him the things and he give us the horse. only we coodent take her then becaus we have got to find a place to keep her. none of us dass to tell our folks about it. we woodent let Fatty know about it if we hadent suposed he had plenty of chink.
Beany came over for me and went up to Pewts. on the way Beany went up an rung his doorbell and we hid behind the fence and Mister Watson, Beany's father, came out holding a light and shading it with his hand. the wind blew the lite out and in going in again he hit his head an awful bump against the door. me and Beany nearly died laffing only we tride not to laff too loud. well we went up to Pewts and Pewt had been sent to bed for something and so we started back and met a man who said is this you Elbridge, it was pretty dark and Beany said yes and Mister Watson grabbed us both by the collar and said, so you are the boys who rung my doorbell and then he give Beany a rap on the side of the head and began to shake him round lively and while he was shaking Beany up i put for home. i hid behind the fence and i cood hear him say i will learn you to asosiate with that misable Shute boy and wast your time ringing doorbells, and Beany was saying, o father i will never do it again. i nearly died laffing to hear Beany a rattling round on the sidewalk. i hope Mister Watson wont tell father. i gess he wont for he gets over his mad pretty quick. every time i think of Beanys legs flying round in the air i giggle rite out and when i think of Mister Watson bumping his head i nearly die. sometimes i think it pays to be tuff.
Mar. 12. rany. i went to church. the minister said it was esy to be good if you tride. i gess ministers dont know much ennyway.
Apr. 29. brite and fair. today was saterday and this afternoon me and Beany and Fatty went down to see old Nat. he was in a old house smoking a old pipe made out of a corn cob. so Fatty he asked him to show us his old plug, only Fatty dident say old plug but said Mister Mason can we see your troting horse, and old Nat he got up and went to a little barn and opened the door and holered get up lady Clara and she tride to get up and coodent, and old Nat swoar and kicked her and then she coodent get up, and then he clim over her and puled her head up into the rack and then he took a stick and hit her sum more and swoar sum more and then she got up. then Beany he asked old Nat what made her not get up and he said that troting horses most never laid down more than once or twict a weak and sum of the best troters never laid down. he said Dexter and Flora Tempel never was knowed to lay down. then Fatty asked him to let us see her trot and he hiched her into a buggy and we set on the fence and old Nat he drove of most walking. bimeby we herd the old wagon ratling and old Nat he came down the street just fluking.
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