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She has to go down suller most the first thing when she comes home visitin'. She never seems to want anything, only to sort o' look round. Some say her ma wuz so; but there is worse things to take to than sullers, and I wuz glad enough there wuz a place there where Tirzah Ann could have one. Well, I declare I fell in love with the place myself.
It had to be wound up, and then it would take after 'em rats or mice, or anything and they do say that it wuz quite a success. Only it had to move on a smooth floor. It would travel round pretty much all night; and they say that when it wuz set up in a suller, it would chase the rats back into their holes, and they would set there and look out on it, for the biggest heft of the night.
"Waal, you'll haff to stand it till I get back, 'n' you'll find a jar o' sweet pickles an' some crabapple sauce down suller, 'n' you'd better melt up brown sugar for 'lasses, 'n' for goodness' sake don't eat all them mince pies up the fust week, 'n' see that Tukey ain't froze goin' to school. An' now you'd better get out for home. Good-bye, an' remember them pies.
"There's one of 'em in the settin'-room balancin' a plug-hat on his knees and sayin', 'Lo! the bridegroom cometh'; and there's two on the front steps kickin' the dog ev'ry time he comes at 'em; and there's one in the kitchen that smells o' tar, and has got a bagful of shells and sech things for presents to me; there's one in the barn lookin' over the stock and I s'pose they're comin' down the chimbly and up the suller stairs by this time.
Solomon, says he, 'have you got any cider in your suller? 'Yes, Sir, says I, 'sixteen barrels, good as ever you see in your life, I don't care where 't is. 'Well, says he, 'Mr. Solomon, my advice to you is, to go an' tap them barrels, every one on 'em, an' let it run!" "Guess you told him you'd wait a spell, didn't you?" "Humph! Let it run! I knew his gran'sir! Meddlin' toad!
I would say to her: "Cleopatra," sez I, "you little know what you're a-doin'. Mebby there wouldn't be so many Dakota and Chicago divorces in 1905 if it wuzn't for your cuttin' up and actin' in B. C. I'd say stealin' is stealin', and some wimmen think it is worse to steal their husbands away from 'em than it would be to steal ten pounds of butter out of their suller.
When agin that loud angry roar begun in the suller, and agin Ury ketched Philury round the waist, for she wanted to stand her ground, but he yanked her down stairs and half way acrost the back yard. He loves her dearly and thinks it a man's place to protect his pardner. He didn't go so fur this time, but had almost onbeknown to himself sought safety for his dear Philury in flight.
But it wuz mortifyin', nobody could dispute it, to have company come and have nothin' to put on. Several times she had to withdraw into the woodhouse, and stay most all day there shiverin', and under the suller stairs and round in clothes presses. But he boasted in prayer meetin's and on boxes before grocery stores that he wuz a law-abidin' citizen, and he wuz.
It had to be wound up, and then it would take after 'em rats or mice, or anything and they do say that it wuz quite a success. Only it had to move on a smooth floor. It would travel round pretty much all night; and they say that when it wuz set up in a suller, it would chase the rats back into their holes, and they would set there and look out on it, for the biggest heft of the night.
"I don't care," sez he, "what she sez! if she don't like it she can lump it!" But I could see that the tippin' sides wuz done through a mistake, and he wuz tryin' to cover it up with a mantilly of bravado and boastfulness. I agin kep' silence for quite a spell, and my next words, so fur as I remember 'em, wuz, "Where is the suller?" He stood agast and repeated, "The suller!"
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