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An' who clumb off but Lawler an' his trail crew twenty-three of 'em. An' Blondy Antrim in the midst of 'em, lookin' like a sheep-killin' dog. "Well, gentlemen, they was a scene. Warden got his face all screwed up an' couldn't get it unscrewed ag'in. He looked like he'd swallered a hot brandin' iron an' it didn't lay easy on his stummick.
"'Which it's a-kicking of me in the stummick frequent and painful, he remarks, plenty wrathful. "'On general principles, I said, 'it's a royal flush to a pair of deuces as how this Blacklock bird ought to stop a heap of lead, and I know the man to throw it. He's the only brother of my sister, and tends chuck in a placer mine.
I swear they ain't. Why, if a feller so much as doubts one of yore reg'lar fish stories you gotta crawl his hump. Aw right, I believe you. How big was he again? Ugh-h-h! Uncle! Uncle! Get off my stummick! I said 'Uncle, didn't I? Damitall, that left ear of mine will never be the same again. You rammed it into a rock with more points than a barb-wire fence. Nemmine no more foolin' now.
They have some rubber things in the wardrobe tent that you can blow up and make a big arm, and a big leg, and a big stummick, so anybody couldn't tell the difference, and they fixed pa up with blowed up clothes of flesh colored rubber, and but for his chin whiskers you couldn't tell him from the fat woman.
"We wanted it all to be nice, because you said we had to have him, papa, and after lunch Penrod went to guard him that's a new part in the rixual and he brought him over, and we took him out to the shack and blindfolded him, and well, he got kind of mad because we wanted him to lay down on his stummick and be tied up, and he said he wouldn't, because the floor was a little bit wet in there and he could feel it sort of squashy under his shoes, and he said his mother didn't want him ever to get dirty and he just wouldn't do it; and we all kept telling him he had to, or else how could there be any 'nishiation; and he kept gettin' madder and said he wanted to have the 'nishiation outdoors where it wasn't wet and he wasn't goin' to lay down on his stummick, anyway."
"I straightened up an' found 'at we was in a quiet eddy, at the foot o' the rapids, on the furder side o' the stream. The water warn't up to me arm-pits, neether. Ez for Sandy, the starch was clean knocked out o' him, so I jest hauled him ashore an' spread him out on the rocks to dry while I hev a leetle o' thet water off my stummick.
Love never did nor never will thrive on a empty stummick. Harmony of soul is delightful, and perfect congeniality is sweet, and so is good yeast emtin' bread if it is made right, kneaded three times, riz in a cool place and baked to a turn. And tender broiled chops and chicken, and hot muffins and fragrant coffee has some the effect on the manly breast of love's young dream.
You hate winnin' at 'draw, an' talks easy when a feller holds 'fours' too frekent. An' your liquor turns on your stummick. They're all signs," he added expansively. "When a feller gits like that he'd best git right off to the meetin'-house. That's how I tho't." "And you went?" "That's so. Say, an' it ain't easy.
'Go to bed, he says, 'an' lave thim alone, he says, 'Whin they find who they're in, he says, 'they'll quit ye. "So I wint to bed, an' waited while th' Mickrobes had fun with me. Mondah all iv thim was quite but thim in me stummick.
"Got a chill on yer stummick on sentry-go in the fog an' rine las' night.... I'd give a 'ogs'ead to see the bloke who wrote in the bloomin' Reggilashuns 'nor must bloomin' sentries stand in their blasted sentry-boxes in good or even in moderate-weather' a doin' of it 'isself in 'is bloomin' 'moderate weather' with water a runnin' down 'is back, an' 'is feet froze into a puddle, an' the fog a chokin' of 'im, an' 'is blighted carbine feelin' like a yard o' bad ice an' then find the bloomin' winder above 'is bed been opened by some kind bloke an' 'is bed a blasted swamp... Yus you 'ave four o' rum 'ot and you'll feel like the bloomin' 'Ouse o' Lords.
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