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Then she braced herself with all the strength and self-will that was left her. "Ken didn't nuver kill John," she said, slowly, forcing a voice that seemed to have hardly breath enough to carry it to audibility. "I kilt him."
But I am certain you speak without any real idea of the difficulty." "That may be. And yet what I say remains just as true." "How could I meet VIOLENCE, for instance?" "Impossible!" She returned no reply. We walked in silence for some minutes. At length she said, "My mother's self-will amounts to madness, I do believe. I have yet to learn where she would stop of herself."
He trifled inexcusably with my deepest feelings; he caused me years of conflict and anguish, such as he little knows; I was almost shipwrecked; yet I will still say to the last that what I loved in him was a better self, something really noble and good, however concealed and perverted by pride, ambition, and self-will.
In what he said there seemed so much sincerity of repentance, that it painfully affected me. I could not but reflect that I, too, had shortened the life of a good, tender father by my bad conduct and obstinate self-will.
I was brought up just to please myself and to have my own way to be, in fact, a little incarnation of self-will and selfishness. I was allowed to ask for everything I liked at the table, no restriction being put upon my self-indulgence. I went where I liked, and did what I liked, and was never checked except when I was in the way, or had become intolerably troublesome.
It was what he wanted to do; but the tension of his nerves seemed to get relief from the innocent thing's suffering. The very fact that her pretty little face was set with his own obstinacy of self-will, while behind it her spirit was rising against this capricious tyranny, goaded him into persistence.
She's that 'eadstrong, it seems as if she wouldn't listen to nobody at least nobody as we knows anything about. 'What do you mean by that? he inquired abruptly. 'Do you think there's any one else? 'How can I tell? I've got no reason for thinkin' it, but how can I tell? No, I believe it's nothin' but her self-will an' the fancies she's got into her 'ead.
"What was the 'self-will' about, Daisy?" "You remember too well," I said. "What?" "Me and my words." "Why?" "It is not easy to say why, just in this instance." "No. Well, Daisy, say the other thing. About the self-will." I hesitated. "Are you apt to be self-willed?" he asked, tenderly. "I do not know. I believe I did not use to think so.
We note the contrast between David's submission to God's guidance and Saul's self-willed taking his own way, in spite of Samuel. He began right, and, in the main, he continued as he began. Self-will is sin and ruin. Submission is joy, and peace, and success. God's kings are viceroys. They have to rule themselves and the world, but they have to be ruled by His will.
The practical outcome of the foregoing was a conviction in Theobald's mind, and if in his, then in Christina's, that it was their duty to begin training up their children in the way they should go, even from their earliest infancy. The first signs of self-will must be carefully looked for, and plucked up by the roots at once before they had time to grow.
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