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He comes with nothing but his full dress suit and a blank marriage license! To arms! To arms!" Hep's goat at the three-quarters by two lengths. "Why, John," he exploded again, "every telegraph wire in the country is sizzling with excitement. Despatches which would make your blood curdle with anguish and sorrow for the rich are flying all over the country. Something like this: "'Boston. To-day.
The community breathes easier, but all the incoming trains are being watched. "Are you wise, John, to what the panhandling nobility of Europe are doing to our dear United States? "They are putting all our millionaires on the fritz, that's what they're doing." Hep's goat in the stretch, under wraps.
Then we had Rufus Kellar Smith, the parlor prestidigitator. Rufus was a bad boy. He cooked an omelette in a silk hat and when he handed the hat back to Hep Hardy two poached eggs fell out and cuddled up in Hep's hair. Rufus apologized and said he'd do the trick over again if some one would lend him a hat, but nothing doing. We all preferred our eggs boiled.
"Hep's the word," George affirmed: "John W. Hep, of the well-known family of that name very closely related to the Jeremiah Wises. Yunno who I mean, don't you?" "Sorry," said P. Sybarite sadly: "I'm not even distinctly connected with either family." "You mean you don't make me?" "God forestalled me there," protested P. Sybarite piously. "Inscrutable!"
Mari came with our shawls, and we hastened away, hearing her shoot the bolt of the door behind us. Ben drew my arm in his, and the girls walked rapidly before us. It was a white, hazy night, and the moon was wallowing in clouds. "Let us walk off the flavor of Hep's cards," said Adelaide, "and go to Wolf's Point." "Do you wish to go?" he asked me. "Yes." Ann skipped.
Hep's goat at the quarter and going strong. "They're all over the place, John," he rushed on; "the street cars are full of Earls and Baronets, traveling on transfers. There they are, John, sitting in the best seats and reading the newspapers until an heiress jumps aboard and hands them her address, with a memorandum of her papa's bank account.
The next time I go to one of those expensive shacks it will be just after I've had a hearty dinner. Even at that I may change my mind and go to a moving picture show. Hep Hardy's goat belongs to the chamois branch of that famous family. When it gets out it wants to leap from crag to crag. Hep's chamois got loose recently and, believe me, I never saw a goat perform to better advantage.
"You can bet, John, that no daughter of mine can ever marry a tall gent with a nose like the rear end of an observation car and a knowledge of the English language which doesn't get beyond I O U do you get me?" Hep's goat wins in a walk. "Are you all through, Hep?" I inquired feebly. "I'm not through but I'll take a recess," he snapped back at me.
Why do these fat-heads come over here with a silver cigarette case and a society directory and make every rich man in the country fasten a burglar alarm to his checkbook?" Hep's goat at the half by a length. "A few days ago, John, one of these mutts with an Edam title jumped off an ocean liner, and immediately the price of padlocks rose to the highest point ever known on the Stock Exchange.
"Now, then," he said between his clenched teeth, "will you come?" So terrible were his voice and look that Hep's courage wilted. "I'll come, Colonel, I'll come," he said quickly. "Come then," said Cameron, reaching for him and bringing him forward with a savage jerk.
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