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Shivering and breakfastless, save for a morsel of biscuit and a sip of muddy water, we saddle our dripping horses and fall in. A Tommy sitting in the ditch, the picture of misery; cold, and hungry, with the rain trickling from his sodden helmet on to his face; breaks into a hymn, of which the first verse runs: "There is a happy land Far, far away, Where they get ham and eggs Three times a day."
Even wild Jan Mulder had dropped the knife with which he had begun to cut on his desk a well-executed figure of a ham, and was listening attentively.
"Oh dear," sais I, "I dare say then he can fry ham and eggs and serve 'em up in ile, boil salt beef and pork, and twice lay cod-fish, and perhaps boil potatoes nice and watery like cattle turnips. What discoveries could such a rough-and-tumble fellow as that make?" "Well," said the doctor, "I didn't want to put myself forward, for it ain't pleasant to speak of oneself."
"It's a tough assignment," says I, "but I'll do my best." For I'd seen enough of Ham Adams to know he wa'n't the kind to open up easy. One of these bull-necked husks, Mr. Adams is, with all the pleasin' manners of a jail warden. Honest, in all the times he's been into the Corrugated general offices, I've never seen him give anyone but Mr. Robert so much as a nod.
"We remained concealed until it was dark, and then Hastings and Romer, each with a musket on his shoulders and a ham at his back; and I, being the smallest, with the rifle and the great loaf of bread, set off on our journey.
As for the settlers on its borders, they were the followers of Joe Smith, a veritable descendant of Ham, who never was known for the good he did. That clever mouthpiece of English opinion, the Times, says they will one day confuse and cause much trouble to the people of the United States; but this is only the offspring of that one strong idea so characteristic of Mr. John Bull.
Anson Marlow?" asked the boy from the restaurant. "Yes." "Then I must do as I've been told;" and he opened his tray and placed the turkey, the ham, and the coffee on the table. "If he's right, I'm right too," said he of the toy-shop. "Them was my directions;" and they were both about to depart when the woman sprang forward and gasped: "Stay!" She clasped her hands and trembled violently.
"Why, thank you upon second thoughts, no. I will just help myself to some of the ham." There is no knowing what one eats, thought I to myself, at the tables of these people of the province. I will have none of their rabbit au-chat and, for the matter of that, none of their cat-au-rabbit either.
"Look here," said the professor angrily, "if you call the Sheikh Abraham again I shall throw something at you. Ibrahim, once more," he continued, spelling the name letter by letter. "But that's only his ignorant way of spelling it, sir," protested Sam. "He told me himself it's the same name as we read of. It's Abra ham, as I told him myself; but he only smiled at me as if he knew better."
We left Fontes with practically all our invalids cured after a fortnight's stay, and moved on to Ham en Artois, only a few miles farther east, where we became Divisional Reserve, our Division having taken over a sector of the line in the Lys area.
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