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"Well, you know," she answered between stitches, drawing the needle through the cloth with angry little jerks, "Bud, he never quite believed Dick was dead." Echo rose hastily. The vague, haunting half-thoughts of weeks were crystallized on the instant. She felt as if Dick was trying to speak to her from out of the great beyond. With a shudder she into a chair at the table opposite Polly.
Then, suddenly, as these half-thoughts rushed through his brain, a breath of something cold and distracting a wind from the land of ennui seemed to blow upon them and scatter them. Was it the mention of the Bishop tiresome, pompous fellow or her slightly pedantic tone or the infinitesimal hint of "management" that her speech implied? Who knows?
Jamie had half-thoughts of training some nice lad to be fit for her, Jamie earned money amply; of training him, too, to take his place and earn his salary. Every discontented look in Mercedes' lovely face went to Jamie's heartstrings. One day, going home by the usual boat, he saw his dear girl waiting for him on the wharf.
He had a quick step, a quick way of talking, was used to command; his brow was square, and could threaten; he had the deepest blue eyes, and glossy brown hair; he was a tower of strength to protect a girl; and his wife, if he had one, must have a feeling of safety. Thoughts, or half-thoughts, like these passed through her mind. She had never before met any young man of Carshaw's type.
Surely it would be a very easy thing to lead them to safety in the morning and he foresaw the credit which would come to him. He concluded that it was beneath his dignity as preserver to vouchsafe them many words. His business was to be the cold, masterful, enigmatic man. It might be said that these reflections were only half-thoughts in his mind.
He sat at his desk in the office of the Messenger with paper before him, with pens and ink at hand, but his brain refused to produce an idea, and for such vague half-thoughts as came to him, he could find no words to give expression. He was seized upon by terror. Had his gift of the gods deserted him? Better death than life without his gift!
Covering the cup, he dallied languidly with the delicious beverage, and with the half-thoughts, half-musings, that came with the dreamy indolence of the weather. Was it, indeed, ten years, ten, nay, fifteen years, that he had lived this China-life? The door swung softly open, and a servant brought a note, and stood waiting for him to read it.
"He, a great nobleman, does not scorn to acknowledge me, and think something of me," may have been one of the half-thoughts passing through her now and then, as she reflected in self- defence on the proud family she had married into. January was watering and freezing old earth by turns, when the Hon. Peter travelled down to the sun of his purse with great news.
If he saw only the surface of things it is for the reason that most things have nothing but a surface. He did not pretend perhaps because he did not know how he did not pretend to see any depths in a life that is only a film of unsteady appearances stretched over regions deep indeed, but which have nothing to do with the half-truths, half-thoughts, and whole illusions of existence.
We are not capable of that concentrated and serious attention to one thing at a time which would enable us to sink into its being, and enjoy the intrinsic harmonies of its form, and the bliss of its immanent particular heaven; we flounder in the vague, but at the same time we are full of yearnings, of half-thoughts and semi-visions, and the upward tendency and exaltation of our mood is emphatic and overpowering in proportion to our incapacity to think, speak, or imagine.
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