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No more nor that old deaf gammon there that costs me three tizzies a week, and haint worth a h'porth no more nor Meg there, that's making all she can o' them pains. They be all a foolin' o' me, an' thinks I don't know't. Hey? we'll see. All this time he was cutting a bit of tobacco into shreds on the window-stone.
If they want to be so fashionable, as to try to live out doors and in the house too, that is none of my business. And of course it looked dretful ornimental and pretty. But I will say this, it haint bein' mejum. I should rather live either out doors, or in the house, one of the 2. But I am a eppisodin'. And to resoom.
I sez as much to my companion, as we wended our way home from one of the meetin's, and he sez, "There haint but one right way, and it is a pity folks can't see it." Sez he a sithin' deep, "Why can't everybody be Methodists?"
Thar haint one ef them passes but thet I make excuse fer ter see ye, an' jest ther sight o' yo'r sweet face somehow kindles a light inside me that burns, 'thout scarcely dimmin', till I sees ye agin. Thet's ther reason I said what I done, a moment back. "I jest kaint bear fer ter think uv yo' lovin' some one else then me.
This was a subject of so great importance that all the other calculations had to be erased from the slate—this little operation was accomplished in the manner of the schoolboys who haint got any sponge, and the dirty hand plied briskly for a minute between the juicy mouth and the dingy slate, and became a shade grimier by this cleanly process.
It would be fur from my wishes to be carried up to the skies on the wind of a political convention. "Though," sez I reasonably, "I haint a doubt that there wuz sights, and sights of it used there."
Haint you goin' to deceive the gal? Didn't you jist tell her that you was her friend? and that we'd liberate her? And don't she expect us to take her home, instead of away off to that cave in Virginny, where she'll be no better off than she is here? And haint it cowardly to lie and deceive them as trust in your word and honor?" "Honor! a pretty word that for such a fellow as you to use!
The others rushed up, school boy like, to defend their companion against "the man," and little Pete Skidmore picked up a stone and adjusted it for throwing. "Why, you little scamps you," gasped Si in amazement. "What'd you mean? Ain't you goin' to obey my orders?" "You haint no right to give us orders no more," asserted Humphreys, flourishing his bat defiantly.
"Them fellers ain't sewin' on no buttons. Si," he replied; "they're skirmishin'." "Skirmishin'!" exclaimed Si, opening his eyes very wide. "I haint seen any signs o' rebs 'round here, 'n' there aint any shootin' goin' on, 'nless I've lost my hearin'. Durned if 't aint the funniest skirmishin' I ever hearn tell of!" "Now, don't ax me nuthin' more 'bout it, Si," said Shorty.
Why, dumb it all, you know as well as I do, that men haint called as modest as wimmen anyway. And if they have the name, why shouldn't they have the game? Why shouldn't they go round half dressed as well as wimmen do? And they are as strong agin; if there is any danger to health in it they are better able to stand it.
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