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One day the gentlemen rode in a mule-race, the slowest mule to win, and this feat was followed by an exhibition of negro agility in climbing the greased pole and catching the greased pig; another day the cavaliers contended on the green field surrounded by a brilliant array of beauty and costume, as two Amazon baseball nines, the one nine arrayed in yellow cambric frocks and sun-bonnets, and the other in bright red gowns the whiskers and big boots and trousers adding nothing whatever to the illusion of the female battle.
Bill Nye once said "When we start down hill we usually find everything greased for the occasion." We might add "except the bumps!" Living beyond our means is a big subject that must be treated broadly, for circumstances alter cases. There is a sane way to look at every problem, and the matter of living beyond our means is one of the major problems we have to face.
Two poles are placed in the ground, with a rope stretched between them, on which a live goose is hung with its feet securely tied, and its head thoroughly greased. The contestants are on horseback, and ride at full speed past the goose, endeavoring to seize its head and separate it from the body as they pass.
The farmer was a ruddy-faced Milesian, who wore a drab frieze coat, with a velvet collar, buff waistcoat, corduroy small-clothes, and top-boots* well greased from the tops down. He was not only an agriculturist, but a grazier remarkable for shrewdness and good sense, generally attended fairs and markets, and brought three or four large droves of fat cattle to England every year.
A handsaw well greased was laid upon the windlass to saw off the cable, and the only remaining hatchet on board, was placed by the mizen mast, to cut the stern moorings when the ship should have sufficiently swung off. Taking one man with me, we went upon the fore-top-sail-yard, loosed the sail and turned out the reefs, while two others were loosing the main-top-sail and main sail.
They sounded with a greased lead and determined our latitude by the color and character of the coral or sand that came up on the lead. Sometimes they knew where we were and at others they did not have any more idea than had I.
There was therefore nothing to betray to the sight our whereabouts; and as to sound, every sheave and tackle that was in the least likely to be used had been so thoroughly greased that it worked in absolute silence, while the men, although shod for our tramp across the narrow point at the southern extremity of the island, had lashed thick wads of oakum to the soles of their shoes, and consequently moved about the decks as silently as ghosts.
If the goose browns too quickly, cover with greased paper or lower the heat of the oven. Baste every fifteen minutes. Take a very fat goose for this purpose. After cleaning and singeing, cut off neck, wings and feet. Lay the goose on a table, back up, take a sharp knife, make a cut from the neck down to the tai.
Beat together until smooth six eggs and a pint sifted flour; melt one ounce of butter and add to the batter, with one ounce of sugar and a cup of milk; beat until smooth; put a tablespoonful at a time into a frying pan slightly greased, spreading the batter evenly over the surface by tipping the pan about; fry to a light brown; spread with jelly, roll up, dust with powdered sugar and serve hot.
The apartments through which I passed had the same air of departed gentility and sluttish housekeeping. The once rich curtains were faded and dusty; the furniture greased and tarnished. On entering the dining-room I found a number of odd, vulgar-looking, rustic gentlemen seated round a table, on which were bottles, decanters, tankards, pipes, and tobacco.