United States or Ireland ? Vote for the TOP Country of the Week !


I pitcht my tent in a small town in Injianny one day last seeson, & while I was standin at the dore takin money, a deppytashun of ladies came up & sed they wos members of the Bunkumville Female Moral Reformin & Wimin's Rite's Associashun, and thay axed me if they cood go in without payin. "Not exactly," sez I, "but you can pay without goin in."

Ennyway me and Beany run home as quick as we cood and the peeple went of two. well tonite father said if he had got into so many scrapes when he was a boy as me and Beany did he wood have been in jale. and Aunt Sarah laffed and said she gessed she cood tell a few things if she wanted to and father he said he cood two but he gessed he woodent.

Mis Square Baxter was mixin suthin in a dipper before the kitchin fire, & a small army of female wimin were rushin wildly round the house with bottles of camfire, peaces of flannil, &c. I never seed such a hubbub in my natral born dase. I cood not stay in the west room only a minit, so strung up was my feelins, so I rusht out and ceased my dubbel barrild gun.

Ashman, and he said if you ever do i will lick you. the babys name is Edward Ashton Shute and not Ashman. i woodent name him for enny cornet player. it is pretty tuff luck. if i cood have got that cornet i woodent have minded a licking. went in swiming today. July 31.

April 1. auful cold and rainy. i was going to wright a love letter to Beany and sine Lizzie Toles name to it but i told father about it for fun and he said that it was fourgery and that i cood be prostecuted and sent to jale. so i dident. tonite me and Beany rung five door bells for april fool. April 2. been trying to get rid of some warts.

Aug. 22. last nite father studed his speach over and let us stay up to hear it. he stood up and looked auful stirn and put one hand in the buzum of his shert. i coodent help laffin, but he told me to shet up or i cood go to bed and so i shet up. i tell you it was fine.

Feb. 12. it raned hard all day. Keene and Cele had to go to church and so i had to go two. they wasent many there. it ranes now. Feb. 13. it raned hard all nite. i cood hear it agenst the window and hear the wind blow. it is comfertible to be in bed and hear the rane. only i forgot my kindlings and i had to get up before six oh clock this morning. Feb. 14.

Den yer tink melted led cold as de young gemmen at de big houses tink a miny julip is now, an besid's my brederen it keeps a burnin nite on day to de end ob ebrerlastin; yer needn't tink bimeby yer go from dare to hebben like de Rummin Catlick No, in de fust place yer don't; an in de second if yer cood, yer'd git yer def of cole goin frum one place to tudder.

Gorda mity's trufe! Werrily I say unter yer! Wen de court ob seshions ob de las day cum, ye'll reckerlect wot I say at dis times! An de hill ter fall top o' yer. No yer don't. Oh! yer'll wish yo cood bore fer wat-r dar! but day's no water dar, an de deeper yer go, Oh, my bredren, de deeper it git! An den de smell! Yer'll gib yer soul uv yer had any left, jist fur wun smell ob a rotten egg!

Then she told us to come home and we went home as fast as we cood all bawling. when we got home mother was sitting up alone and aunt Sarah started to tell her and Keene and Cele and Georgie all bawled and you never heard such a noise, and father was in bed with a headake and hollered out what in time is the matter. and she told him and i heard him jump out of bed and in a minit he came out buttoning up his suspenders.