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In the beginning of marriage the love of the sex appears as if conjoined with conjugial love; but in the progress of marriage they are separated; and in this case, with such as are spiritual, the love of the sex is removed, and conjugial love is imparted; but with such as are natural, the contrary happens.
The Word is the medium of conjunction, because it is from the Lord, and thereby is the Lord, n. 128. The church is from the Lord, and exists with those who come to him and live according to his precepts, n. 129. Conjugial love is according to the state of the church, because it is according to the state of wisdom with man, n. 130.
Angels who are loves, and thence wisdoms, are called celestial, and with them conjugial love is celestial; angels who are wisdoms, and thence loves, are called spiritual, and similar thereto is their conjugial principle, 64.
That it exists only with a very few in the Christian world, where there are monogamical marriages, but that still it is capable of existing there, has also been confirmed above. That with polygamists conjugial love is natural, may be seen in the chapter on Polygamy, n. 345, 347; in like manner jealousy is natural in the same case, because this follows love.
In regard to the SECOND POSITION that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, deprives a man of all faculty and inclination to conjugial life, which is implanted in Christians from birth, it may be seen from the following considerations: that so far as love to a wife is changed into love to a concubine, so far the former love is rent, exhausted, and emptied, as has been shewn just above: that this is effected by a closing of the interiors of the natural mind, and an opening of its inferior principles, may appear from the seat of the inclination with Christians to love one of the sex, as being in the inmost principles, and that this seat may be closed, but cannot be destroyed.
Similitudes may in part be deduced and concluded from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love is changed into cold; of which we shall speak in the following chapter. Similitudes and dissimilitudes in general originate from connate inclinations, varied by education, connections, and persuasions that have been imbibed.
Are not these the delights of true conjugial love in their fulness?" The origin, nature, and quality of the delights of this love, may be seen above, n. 69: and also in the MEMORABLE RELATIONS, especially those which follow.
The SECOND CONCLUSION was; We women are born into the love of the men's intelligence; therefore if the men love their own intelligence, it cannot be united with its genuine love, which belongs to the wife; and if the man's intelligence is not united with its genuine love, which belongs to the wife, it becomes insanity grounded in haughtiness, and conjugial love becomes cold.
LAMBS in the spiritual world are representative forms of the state of innocence and peace of the inhabitants, 75. The forms of animals under which the chaste delights of conjugial love are there presented to the view, are lambs, &c., 430. The Lord from innocence is called a lamb, 394. LAMPS signify truth, 44.
We do not know what conjugial love is. If our husbands possess any portion of it, still we do not; whence then come its delights to us? yea, in regard to what you call ultimate delights, we at times refuse them with violence, for they are unpleasant to us, almost like violations: and you will see, if you attend to it, no sign of such love in our faces: wherefore you are trifling or jesting, if you also assert, with those seven wives, that we think of our husbands from morning to evening, and continually attend to their will and pleasure in order to catch from them such delights. I have retained thus much of what they said, that I might relate it to you; since it is repugnant, and also in manifest contradiction, to what I heard from you near the fountain, and which I so greedily imbibed and believed."
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