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The ancestors of Terebratulina caput serpentis may have been present at a battle of Ichthyosauria in that part of the sea which, when the chalk was forming, flowed over the site of Hastings.
Then His Honor smiled genially and asked what business there was before the court, and the clerk told him that they were all there to try a man named Higgleby for bigamy, and the judge, nodding at Caput, said to go ahead and try him. In the bottom of his peritoneum Mr. Magnus felt that he carried a cold stone the size of a grapefruit. His hands were ice, his lips bloodless.
I was favored by the parson with a copy of the carol as now sung, and as it may be acceptable to such of my readers as are curious in these grave and learned matters, I give it entire: The boar's head in hand bear I, Bedeck'd with bays and rosemary And I pray you, my masters, be merry Quot estis in convivio Caput apri defero, Reddens laudes domino.
After waiting about ten minutes this reverend little gentleman, such as I have described, entered, assumed one of these agreeable solemn smiles, and bowed; but instantly recovered his full stature; as if he had been then measuring for a grenadier. I delivered my letters: one was from the tutor, and the other from a regent master, who was one of the caput.
"Judas H. Priest!" he roared at the rubber plant. "I'd give a good deal for a decent excuse to fire that blooming nincompoop!" Meantime, as the object of his ire slunk down the corridor darkness descended upon the soul of Caput Magnus. For Caput was what is known as an office lawyer and had never gone into court save as an onlooker or as he would have phrased it an amicus curiae.
Ostendere solent et caput ipsius Catherinae cum inuolumento sanguinolento, et multas praeterea sanctas, et venerabiles reliquias, quae omnia intuitus sum diligentur et saepe, oculis indignis.
The moment this pageant made its appearance, the harper struck up a flourish; at the conclusion of which the young Oxonian, on receiving a hint from the Squire, gave, with an air of the most comic gravity, an old carol, the first verse of which was as follows: "Caput apri defero Reddens laudes Domino. The boar's head in hand bring I, With garlands gay and rosemary.
And in the stilly hours of the early dawn those sleeping in tenements and extensions adjacent to the hall bedroom occupied by Caput were roused by a trembling voice that sought vainly to imitate the nonchalance of experience, declaiming: "Gentlemen of the jury, the defendant is indicted for the crime of bigamy!
But students' fees, because of the small number in attendance, gave but little reward, and as a result the new French Lecturer was apparently not always as zealous and enthusiastic in his unremunerative labours as the Caput desired.
For by all the lights of the Five Points, Chinatown Mulberry, Canal, Franklin, Lafayette and Centre streets Pontin's Restaurant, Moe Levy's One Price Tailoring Establishment, and even by those of the glorious days of Howe & Hummel, by the Nine Gods of Law and more Caput Magnus was a learned savant.
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