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"That was how I acquired cordiality for the proximities of Miss Willella Learight; and the disposition grew larger as time passed. She was stopping at Pimienta Crossing for her health, which was very good, and for the climate, which was forty per cent. hotter than Palestine.
"There was a girl standing there an imported girl with fixings on philandering with a croquet maul and amusing herself by watching my style of encouraging the fruit canning industry. "I slid off the counter and delivered up my shovel to Uncle Emsley. "'That's my niece, says he; 'Miss Willella Learight, down from Palestine on a visit. Do you want that I should make you acquainted?
Uncle Emsley looked at 'em with one eye shut and says: "'Haven't ye heard the news? "'Cattle up? I asks. "'Willella and Jackson Bird was married in Palestine yesterday, says he. 'Just got a letter this morning. "I dropped them flowers in a cracker-barrel, and let the news trickle in my ears and down toward my upper left-hand shirt pocket until it got to my feet.
Yes, it looks like Jackson Bird has gone and humbugged you some. The day after he went riding with Willella he came back and told me and her to watch out for you whenever you got to talking about pancakes. He said you was in camp once where they was cooking flapjacks, and one of the fellows cut you over the head with a frying pan.
I rode over to see her once every week for a while; and then I figured it out that if I doubled the number of trips I would see her twice as often. "One week I slipped in a third trip; and that's where the pancakes and the pink-eyed snoozer busted into the game. "That evening, while I set on the counter with a peach and two damsons in my mouth, I asked Uncle Emsley how Miss Willella was.
I had always let 'em pass, just as you would a jack-rabbit; with a polite word and a guess about the weather, but no stopping to swap canteens. I never thought it was worth while to be hostile with a snoozer. And because I'd been lenient, and let 'em live, here was one going around riding with Miss Willella Learight! "An hour by sun they come loping back, and stopped at Uncle Emsley's gate.
I've known birds, says I, 'to be served on toast for less than that. Miss Willella, says I, 'don't ever want any nest made out of sheep's wool by a tomtit of the Jacksonian branch of ornithology. Now, are you going to quit, or do you wish for to gallop up against this Dead-Moral-Certainty attachment to my name, which is good for two hyphens and at least one set of funeral obsequies?
"That was how I acquired cordiality for the proximities of Miss Willella Learight; and the disposition grew larger as time passed. She was stopping at Pimienta Crossing for her health, which was very good, and for the climate, which was forty per cent. hotter than Palestine.
Jackson Bird has been courting Willella ever since that day he took her out riding. "'Then, says I, in a kind of yell, 'what was all this zizzaparoola he gives me about pancakes? Tell me that. "When I said 'pancakes' Uncle Emsley sort of dodged and stepped back. "'Somebody's been dealing me pancakes from the bottom of the deck, I says, 'and I'll find out. I believe you know.
I recollect his promise about the pancake receipt, and I thinks I will persuade it from Miss Willella and give it to him; and then if I catches Birdie off of Mired Mule again, I'll make him hop the twig.
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