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"Oh!" says Woodie, screwin' up one corner of his mouth and tippin' me the wink. I knew if I got a look at Vee I'd have to haw-haw; so I backs around with one hand behind me and we swaps a finger squeeze. Then Aunty jumps in with the quick shift. She asks him patronizin' if he finds the grocery business int'restin'. He admits that he does. "How odd!" says Aunty.
I wanted to follow him up and tip him off that there's one or two other reasons why this was the wrong house to put over any sporty bluff in; but as it was I'm overdue in another quarter. You see, Marjorie has been sittin' out on the side lines, as usual, and Vee has hinted how it would be nice and charitable of me to brace her for a spiel.
"And as all the taxis have been taken I I But you haven't room." "Oh, lots!" says Vee. "We will leave this ridiculous package in the express office and squeeze up a bit. You simply can't walk, you know." "Well " says she. So I lugs the lamp back and the three of us wedges ourselves into the roadster seat. Believe me, with a party the size of Mrs.
"Didn't bother me any," says I. "Maybe I wa'n't followin' it real close." "The idea!" says, she. "Why come to the theater, anyway?" "Lean closer and I'll whisper," says I. "Silly!" says she. "Here! Have a chocolate." "Toss," says I, openin' my mouth. Vee snickers. "Suppose I missed and hit the fat man beyond?" "It's a sportin' chance he takes," says I. "Shoot."
"Brother Jim only keeps sheep," says he, "and I never did like mutton much, nohow. Maybe I won't live to git there, though. Seems like an awful long ways to go." But they did land there safe enough, for about a week or ten days later Vee gets a postcard from Ma Gummidge sayin' that it was lucky they got there just as they did for they found Brother Jim pretty sick.
She sends Leon for a big apron and a couple of baskets and has me round up Joe to help. When I left they were all three busy and the turkey feathers were coming off fast. All there was left for me to do was to go in and break the sad news to Vee. "As a turkey raiser, I'm a flivver," says I. "But I can't see that it's your fault at all," says Vee. "Can't you?" says I. "Ask Auntie."
Ellins turns him over to me, with orders to watch him close while he's investigatin' the tale. Then, when I'm gabbin' free and careless about it to Vee, her Auntie sits there with her ear stretched. She wants to know what hotel I've left the Captain at. And the next mornin' he's gone. Also on other counts the arrow points to Auntie.
"Can't always tell what?" demands Auntie. "About things not happenin' out here," says I. "But, Torchy," says Vee, "what could possibly happen here; that is, like those things in town?" I shrugs my shoulders and shakes my head. "How absurd!" says Vee. Auntie gives me one of them cold storage looks of hers. "I have usually noticed," says she, "that things do not happen of themselves.
I tries to call Vee on the 'phone as soon as I've discovered where she is, and all the satisfaction I get is a message delivered by a French maid that "Miss Hemmingway is otherwise engaged." Wouldn't that crust you? But I've been up against this embargo game before, you know; so the first chance I gets I slips uptown to do a little scoutin' at close range.
And before there's any chance for a revise I've marched by Piddie with my tongue out and am pikin' towards the North River with a pier pass in one pocket and expense money in another, specially commissioned to meet the very steamer that's bringin' in Miss Vee and her Count. All of which shows how curious things will coincide if you use your bean a little to help 'em along.