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Sometimes a cook replaced a basin she had broken, by giving me as much meat as had cost her mistress five shillings, and thus avoided a scolding, for an article which was worth only two-pence. At other times, a cottager would give me a lodging, and would consider himself rewarded with a mug that only cost me one penny.
Such a shameful degree of profligacy prevailed, that the retailers of this poisonous compound set up painted boards in public, inviting people to be drunk at the small expense of one penny; assuring them they might be dead drunk for two-pence, and have straw for nothing.
For I insist upon it, that the verdict of a coroner's jury makes the best of epitaphs. Johnsons cannot pick holes in it. "Died through the visitation of intense stupidity, by impinging on a moonlight night against the off hind wheel of the Glasgow mail! Deodand upon the said wheel two-pence." What a simple lapidary inscription!
"But how shall we account for receiving the two-pence?" said Timothy. "Selling two vials instead of one: they are never reckoned, you know." "That will do capitally," cried Timothy; "and now for halves." But this could not be managed until Timothy had run out and changed the sixpence; we then each had our three-pence halfpenny, and for once in our lives could say that we had money in our pockets.
To raise L40,000,000 by customs and excise costs about L3,000,000; so that the people have to pay L43,000,000, while the Government gets L40,000,000. In direct taxes, as income taxes, property rates, the cost of collection is very small about two-pence in the pound.
When bank-notes are passed for two-pence and become thick with use, a man may have a great mass of paper currency in his pocket without being rich. On this occasion, however, Ziska tendered to his uncle no two-penny notes.
Cobbett's Register was read, which was now published at TWO-PENCE a number, and in consequence had increased ten-fold in its circulation. There were also great riots at Nottingham, by persons calling themselves Luddites; these consisted of unemployed workmen, who went about in the most lawless manner, destroying the frames by which the stocking manufactory was carried on.
Well, you shall have your Proposals forthwith; but I desire you wou'd be a little more reasonable in your Bills for the future, or I shall deal with you no longer; for I have a certain Fellow of a College, who offers to furnish me with Second-hand Motto's out of the Spectator for Two-pence each. Ind.
Nor did he trouble his borrowers with abstract calculations of figures, or references to ready-reckoners; his simple rule of interest being all comprised in the one golden sentence, 'two-pence for every half-penny, which greatly simplified the accounts, and which, as a familiar precept, more easily acquired and retained in the memory than any known rule of arithmetic, cannot be too strongly recommended to the notice of capitalists, both large and small, and more especially of money-brokers and bill-discounters.
I would rather see a school where they charged two-pence or three-pence per week for each child, having a play-ground, than one where the children had free admission without one; for I think the former institution would do the most good. The play ground, likewise, is one of the most useful parts of the system.
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