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Not knowing, of course, that I had flung them, and that my reason was pure Friendliness and Idealizm, he through them out again with a violent exclamation. They fell at my feet, and lay there, useless, regected, tradgic. At last I summoned courage to speak. "Can't I do somthing to help?" I said, in a quaking voice, to the window. There was no anser, but I could hear a pen scraching on paper.
Carter Brooks is the well-known Yale Center, although now no longer such but selling advertizing, etcetera. It is tradgic to think that, after having so long anticapated that party, I am now here in sackcloth and ashes, which is a figure of speech for the Peter Thompson uniform of the school, with plain white for evenings and no jewellry.
If so, I can come out in November, which is the best time, as December is busy with Xmas and so on. How shall I tell the tradgic story of that night? How can I put, by means of a pen, my Experiences on paper? There are some things which may not be written, but only felt, and that mostly afterwards, as during the time one is to excited to feel.
But what were his words to me? Dear Dairy, I gave no thought to the smallpox he had mentioned, although fatle to the complexion. Or to the fight at the mill. I heard only Adrian's possable tradgic fate. Sudenly I colapsed, and asked for a drink of water, feeling horible, very wobbley and unable to keep my knees from bending.
It was too tradgic that, with all the world to choose from, I had not taken him instead of H. We walked downstairs, so as not to give the elevator boy a chance to talk, he said. But he was asleep again, and we got to the street and to the taxicab without being seen. Oh, I was very cheerful. When I think of it but I might have known, all along. Nothing went right with me that week.
I really did look like Julia Marlowe, especialy as my face was very sad and tradgic. At something before seven every one had gone, and I heard Sis and mother come upstairs to dress for dinner. I sat and waited, and when I heard father I got cold all over. But he went on by, and I heard him go into mother's room and close the door.
My narative has now come to a conclusion, and I will close with a few reflections drawin from my own sad and tradgic Experience. I trust the Girls of this School will ponder and reflect. Deception is a very sad thing. It starts very easy, and without Warning, and everything seems to be going all right, and No Rocks ahead.
"Bab," he said, sudenly turning and facing me, "an awfull thought has come to me. You are in Love and not with me!" "I am in Love, and not with you," I said in tradgic tones. I had not thought he would feel it deeply because of having been interested in Leila since they went out in their Perambulaters together. But I could see it was a shock to him.
This is the tradgic story. Tom had gone to the station, feeling repentant probably, or perhaps wishing to drive the Arab, and finding me not yet there, had conversed with the hackman. And that person, for whom I have nothing but contempt and scorn, had observed to him that every day I met a young gentleman at the three-thirty train and took him for a ride! Could Mendasity do more?
No girl who is happy and has not a tradgic story stays at home shut up at a messy desk when everyone is out at the Club playing tennis. Don't talk to me about a Career. A girl's Career is a man and nothing else. And especialy after last winter, Bab. Is is it the same one?" Here I made my fatal error. I should have said at once that there was no one, just as there had been no one last Winter.
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