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"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer. Then he put his 'and on his 'art and bowed. "Gentlemen all," he ses. "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening at seven o'clock; ad mission, three-pence each."
I took his advice, bought six pennyworth of matches, and commenced my new vagrant speculation. "The first day I picked up three-pence, for one quarter of my stock, and returned to the same place where I had slept the night before, but the fraternity had quitted on an expedition.
And his people do tell me how bravely my Lord did carry himself, while my Lord Crofts did cry; and I perceive it is all the town talk how poorly he carried himself. But the best was of one Mr. Rawlins, a courtier, that was with my Lord; and in the greatest danger cried, "God damn me, my Lord, I won't give you three-pence for your place now."
I cannot sell you a drop under." This was a wicked piece of extortion, as the same article in the town, where, of course, it was in greater request, only brought three-pence the quart. "If you'll pay me for it, I'll bring you some to-morrow. But mind cash down." "And when do you mean to return the rum?" I said, with some asperity. "When father goes to the creek."
I learned from him that the rate of allowance to each man, was a suit of clothes once in four years, one pair of shoes and one pair of soles per annum, a quarter of a pound of meat with twice as much black bread daily, and no wine. Had he gone upon what we should call the out-pension, his subsistence would have amounted to three-pence, of our money, per day.
I dressed myself in my more humble garments, securing my money in the pocket of my trowsers unobserved by the Jew, made up a bundle of the rest, and procured a stick from the Jew to carry it on, however not without paying him three-pence for it, he observing that the stick "wash not in de bargain."
I congratulate you, Major, that you have caught the young Count; he is a fat morsel, a rich fellow, a young man of old family; don’t let him out of the cage without getting three hundred ducats for him; and when you have them, give some three-pence for my monastery and for me, for I always pray for your soul. As I am a Bernardine, I am very anxious about your soul!
Hoole will very properly supply my place as introductor, or yours as President. I hope in milder weather to be a very constant attendant. 'I am, Sir, &c. 'Jan. 27, 1784. 'You ought to be informed that the forfeits began with the year, and that every night of non-attendance incurs the mulct of three-pence, that is, nine pence a week.
Another little boy in the school, whose mother kept a little shop, frequently brought money with him, as much as three-pence at a time.
This ending is like what happens in Dickens's books; but I think it was much jollier to happen like a book, and it shows what a nice man the Uncle is, the way he did it all. Think how flat it would have been if the Uncle had said, when we first offered him the one and threepence farthing, 'Oh, I don't want your dirty one and three-pence!
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