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Terwilliger immediately got down on his knees, in which position he gazed fearfully about him for a few minutes, and then timidly remarked, "Cook!" There was no answer. "Mary, I say. Cook," he whispered, "what the deuce is the meaning of all this?"
Spook, or whatever your name is, this is rubbing it in, to try to collect as much money as that, particularly from me, who wasn't to blame in any way, and on whom you haven't the spook of a claim." "H'I'm very sorry for you, Mr. Terwilliger," said the ghost. "But my vow must be kept sacrid." "But why don't you come down on the Bangletops up in London, and squeeze it out of them?" "H'I carn't.
The fact is, Earl, I've taken quite a shine to you, so much of a one in fact, that I've looked you up at a commercial agency, and H. J. Terwilliger never does that unless he's mightily interested in a man." "I er I hope you are not to be prejudiced against me," the earl said, uneasily, "by er by what those cads of tradesmen say about me." "Not a bit," returned Terwilliger "not a bit.
"H'I knows the wi out," returned the spectre, rising and approaching the tenant of Bangletop, whose solitary lock also rose, being too polite to remain seated while the ghost walked. "H'I also knows the wi in, 'Ankinson Judson Terwilliger."
"I'm glad," Mr. Terwilliger murmured to himself, "that I ain't one of those delicately reared nobles. If I had anything less than a right-down regular republican constitution I'd die of fright."
You are coping with the supernatural. Now I have discovered," continued the lady, "that there are three methods by which titles are acquired birth, marriage, and purchase." "You forget the fourth achievement," suggested Terwilliger. "Not these days, Judson. It used to be so, but it is not so now.
"With hinterest compound hinterest at six per cent. for two 'undred and thirty years," said the ghost. "Phew!" whistled Terwilliger. "Have you any idea how much money that is?" "Certingly," replied the ghost. "Hit's just 63,609,609 pounds 6 shillings 4-1/2 pence. When h'I gets that, h'I flies; huntil I gets it h'I stys 'ere an' I 'aunts."
The shoe trade is a blooming big thing, but the profits aren't big enough to divide with tramp ghosts." "Your tone is very 'aughty, 'Ankinson J. Terwilliger, but it don't haffeck me. H'I don't care 'oo pys the money, an' h'I 'aven't got you into this scripe. You've done that yourself. Hon the other 'and, sir, h'I've showed you 'ow to get out of it."
"When they gets 'ard up the Baink o' Hengland will be in all the sixty soups mentioned in that there book." "You seem to be up in the vernacular," returned Terwilliger, with a smile. "I'll bet you are an old fraud of a modern ghost." Here he discharged all six chambers of his pistol into the body of the spectre.
"Hinvaision?" retorted the ghost, snapping her fingers in his face with such effect that his chin dropped until Terwilliger began to fear it might never resume its normal position. "Hinvaision? H'I'd like to know 'oo's the hinvaider. H'I've occupied these 'ere 'alls for hover two 'undred years."
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