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The account of the "Times" did not directly charge that the performance was a "movie stunt," but it described it in a mocking way which made it obviously that. The paper mentioned T-S in such a way as to indicate him as the originator of the scheme, and it had fun with Mary Magna, pawning her paste jewels.
People would say: 'Render unto T-S the things that are T-S's. When you were paying off your mobs, you would pay them with your own money, and whenever they spent it, the people would bow to Caesar I mean to T-S." He said it without the trace of a smile; and T-S had no idea there was a smile anywhere in the neighborhood. In a business-like tone he said: "I'll tink about it."
"If you'd only let me take a little to those men outside!" He said it pleadingly. But T-S tapped imperiously on the table, with both his knife and fork together. "Mr. Carpenter, eat your dinner! Eat it, now, I say!" It was as if he were dealing with one of the five little T-S's. And Carpenter, strange as it may seem, obeyed.
Carpenter," protested T-S. "Is it dem strikers?" "I'm sorry; you see " "Now, honest, man, vy should you spoil your dinner fer a bunch o' damn lousy loafers " "Abey, vot a vay to talk at a dinner-party!" broke in Maw. And then suddenly Mary Magna spoke. It was a strange thing, though I did not realize it until afterwards.
There were two waiters standing by, very nervous, because of the strike. T-S grabbed the card from one, and read off a list of food, which the waiter wrote down. Maw, who was learning the rudiments of etiquette, handed her card to Mary, who gave her order, and then Maw gave hers, and I gave mine, and there was only Carpenter left.
"Mum's de vord now," said the magnate; and he waddled out, and the two caryatids lifted the flesh-mountain, and half carried it to the elevator, and Mary walked with Carpenter, and I brought up the rear. The car of T-S was waiting at the door, and this car is something special.
T-S, the picture producer, and he's come to lunch with us, and he's going to pay a thousand dollars for it!" There was a moment of amazed silence, then a roar from the company. Men leaped to their feet and yelled. And there stood poor T-S-not enjoying the ovation!
And Carpenter turned his dark eyes on me. "I observe that you have many kinds of mobs in your city," he remarked. "And the police do interfere with some of them." "My Gawd!" cried T-S. "You gonna have a lot o' bums jumpin' on people ven dey try to git to dinner?" Said Carpenter: "Mr. Rosythe said that the police would not work unless they were paid. May I ask, who pays them to work here?
Y'unnerstand, dis is a feature picture ve're makin' now; a night picture, a big mob scene.". "Mob scene?" said Carpenter. "You have so many mobs in this world of yours!" "Vell, sure," said T-S. "You gotta take dis vorld de vay you find it. Y'can't change human nature, y'know. But dis vot you're gonna see tonight is only a play mob, y'unnerstand."
You know the screen stars, of course; but maybe you do not know those larger celestial bodies, the dark and silent and invisible stars from which the shining ones derive their energies. So, permit me to introduce you to T-S, the trade abbreviation for a name which nobody can remember, which even his secretaries have to keep typed on a slip of paper just above their machine Tszchniczklefritszch.
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