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All his life he had shunned the contemplation of poverty and distress. He was now for the first time seeing sickness and suffering in surroundings that had nothing of refinement, and he shrank, like the sensitive and selfish creature that he was, from such contamination.
He continued: "Do not consider me selfish at least do not condemn me for my selfishness. If you have ever loved, you know what almost omnipotent power that passion has over the mind and heart. For long years I have loved you in secret, with a burning, consuming intensity of feeling, which defies all efforts to describe.
How little I dreamed that cold, undemonstrative, selfish man would prove such a patient, tender lover! Truly 'Beauty hath made our greatest manhoods weak. Kiss me, my darling, before you go to meet him. My blue-eyed baby! after to-morrow you will be mine no longer. In the hearts of wives husbands supplant mothers, and reign supreme. Do not speak, my love. Only kiss me, and go."
Another lay closer to my heart, I'll allow, the words of pardon which I hoped to sue forth from the dearest lips in all the world for I could never hope to be happy until the being whom, most loving, I had most offended could consent to assure me of my peace. This, however, I resolutely put by as a selfish pleasure which I must not expect to enjoy until I had earned it.
"Farewell," he repeated; "tell the world I am dead." He leaped into the street, and the father drew in the outstretched arms, smote his heart, and said: "Well, then, my task in the world of man is over! I will back to the old ruin, the wreck to the wrecks; and the sight of tombs I have at least rescued from dishonor shall comfort me for all!" The Results. Perverted Ambition. Selfish Passion.
No, I will not believe it; and if I did, Hortensia, by all the Gods, I had rather live without love, than hold it on so vile a tenure of deceit. What, treasure up the secrets of your soul from your soul’s lord? No! no! I would as soon conceal my devotion from the powers of heaven, as my affections from their rightful master. I, for one, never will believe that all men are selfish and unfaithful."
To live close to mankind, to make a little easier the old worn road, to stand shoulder to shoulder with the labourer at his toil, these were the impulses which sprang like a new growth from his past selfish longing. "Let me feel both the joy and the sorrow among which I move," was the prayer he now found strength to utter.
"How can we, when we believe in heaven?" "But would you not be sorry if someone died whom you loved?" "How could we be so selfish? Would you be sorry if your brother, or someone you loved, became possessed of whatever you value in England a large quantity of this gold, for instance?" "Certainly not. But then you see well, it isn't exactly the same thing.
Their hunting dress consists of a leathern shirt and stockings, over which a blanket is thrown, the head being covered with a fur cap or band. Their manner is reserved, and their habits are selfish; they beg with unceasing importunity for every thing they see.
Hurry, worry, and irritability all come from selfish resistance to the facts of life, and the only permanent cure for the waste of force and the exhausting distress which they entail, is a willingness to accept those facts, whatever they may be, in a spirit of cheerful and reverent obedience to law. Nervous Fears TO argue with nervous anxiety, either in ourselves or in others, is never helpful.
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