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Why had he not drowned that night? And with this feeling of self-disgust added to his general mental misery and the physical misery that the rain brought to him, there came the great temptation to write "Fin," in French fashion, by jumping into the water. But something in the influence of Priscilla and that class meeting caused him to take a better resolution, and he returned to the hotel.
He ducked at the first shot; and directly his balloon began to drop, his mind ran confusedly upon how he might explain himself, and whether he should pretend to be Butteridge or not. "O Lord!" he groaned, in an agony of indecision. Then his eye caught his sandals, and he felt a spasm of self-disgust.
I was, I really believe, in spite of my secret self-disgust, a little flattered to have the attention of these big fellows. I remember particularly a moment of pleasure caused by the praise of Crawshaw you remember Crawshaw major, the son of Crawshaw the composer? who said it was the best lie he had ever heard.
I did not know of your call upon them till after it occurred, and then remarked, if you will remember, that they were people that I did not admire." "Yes," she exclaimed, in a tone of strong self-disgust, "I do remember your saying so, though I had no idea you meant anything like what you now state. The wretched mystery of it all is, why could I not have remembered it yesterday?"
She was stirred anew to anger and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid as to be threatened in its continuity by the absurd failure of a stove, when, glancing at her sister, she felt a sharp pang of self-conviction, of self-disgust. Was she, also, like that, indifferent and self-absorbed?
The young shoot is green and flexible at first, but it soon becomes woody and grows high and strikes deep. We can all verify the statement of our text by recalling the tremors of conscience, the self-disgust, the dread of discovery which accompanied the first commission of some evil deed, and the silence of undisturbed, almost unconscious facility, that accompanied later repetitions of it.
I forgot myself you everything. It was unpardonable, and I ought to be shot." He started off down the blind street, his whole body cold with apprehension and self-disgust. "Where are you going?" she called after him. "I don't know. I can't stay here now. Oh, Mrs. Cortlandt, what can I say?" "Do you intend to leave me here in the middle of this " "No, no! Of course not. I'm rattled, that's all.
He saw himself sinking from depth to depth of sentimental cowardice in his reluctance to renounce his hold on her; and it filled him with self-disgust to think that the highest feeling of which he supposed himself capable was blent with such base elements. His awakening was hardly cheered by the sight of her writing.
Charity gazed at her with widening eyes. This woman with the false hair, the false teeth, the false murderous smile what was she offering her but immunity from some unthinkable crime? Charity, till then, had been conscious only of a vague self-disgust and a frightening physical distress; now, of a sudden, there came to her the grave surprise of motherhood.
The three men in their half costumes stood listening intently until it chucked into the sea below. All three seemed to feel relief at the sound. "That's all right, Caradoc," said Madden with a note of comfort in his voice, "all right, old chap. It won't be like this always." "I was unstrung rotten heat," grumbled the Englishman in acute self-disgust.
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