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It is equivalent to a moneyless New York guttersnipe sailing airily into Delmonico's and ordering porter-house steak and terrapin, because some benevolent person volunteered to feed him for a day or two at his expense.
And here is a specimen order at the inn wherein his puppyship is taking his ease: "Room No. 122. To the clerk of Hotel: Please send to my room, for the use of my little pet 'Watch, a choice porter-house steak, cooked rare, and two chicken-wings, and charge to account of Mrs. ." But it is not always practicable to take our "dumb companions" with us in our travels.
If it is a woman, she expects that the tea will be of the finest flavor, and never boiled; that steaks will be porter-house steaks; that green peas will be in plenty; and that the American girl, who is chambermaid for the summer, and school-teacher in the winter, and who, ten to one, could put her to the blush in five minutes by superior knowledge on many subjects, will enter and leave her room and wait upon her at the table with the silent respectfulness of a trained city servant.
"I ask nothing," he wrote in April, 1823, "of a people who will lavish their patronage on such a vulgar book as "The Pioneers." They and I are well quit. They neglect me, and I despise them." In a later letter he returned to this work. "It might do," he said, "to amuse the select society of a barber's shop or a porter-house.
American coffee, with real cream. American butter. Fried chicken, Southern style. Porter-house steak. Saratoga potatoes. Broiled chicken, American style. Hot biscuits, Southern style. Hot wheat-bread, Southern style. Hot buckwheat cakes. American toast. Clear maple syrup. Virginia bacon, broiled. Blue points, on the half shell. Cherry-stone clams. San Francisco mussels, steamed. Oyster soup.
That, before license shall be granted to any one to keep a family grocery, porter-house, oyster-house, eating-house, or restaurant in this city, the person or persons so applying shall execute a bond in the penal sum of $500, with one or more securities, payable to the mayor of the city of Vicksburg and his successors in office, conditioned that he, she, or they will keep an orderly and well-conducted house, and will not permit any riotous or disorderly conduct, or any gaming in or about the same, and will not sell any vinous or spirituous liquors to any one in less quantity than one gallon during the continuance of his or her license.
"Old John" at Solari's took their order a porter-house steak with mushrooms, peas, cold asparagus, a pint of extra dry in honor of the day, Jack insisted, although Sam protested to the verge of discourtesy together with the usual assortment of small drinkables and long smokables a Reina Victoria each.
At certain seasons, when it is positively wicked to eat chicken salad, porter-house steak, and boned turkey, and when the thought of attending the usual round of parties gives good people nightmare, and sinful folks yet in the bonds of iniquity a prospective claim to the pleasant and enticing style of future amusements which Orcagna painted at Pisa, then Charity rushes to the rescue of ennuied society, and mercifully bids it give Calico Balls for a Foundling Hospital, or Thé Musicale for the benefit of a Magdalen Home, or a Cantata and Refreshments to build a Sailors' Bethel, or help to clothe and feed the destitute.
American coffee, with real cream. American butter. Fried chicken, Southern style. Porter-house steak. Saratoga potatoes. Broiled chicken, American style. Hot biscuits, Southern style. Hot wheat-bread, Southern style. Hot buckwheat cakes. American toast. Clear maple syrup. Virginia bacon, broiled. Blue points, on the half shell. Cherry-stone clams. San Francisco mussels, steamed. Oyster soup.
"Your salary is quadrupled. What do you think of the 'Old Curiosity Shop'?" The man instantly burst into a torrent of tears, and then into a roar of laughter. "Enough! Here are five thousand pounds. Open a porter-house, and call it 'Our Mutual Friend. Huzza! I feel so happy!" And the Haunted Man danced about the room.
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