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Pooter, I would as soon suspect myself as suspect you." I was so agitated that in the confusion, to show my gratitude I very nearly called him a "grand old man." Fortunately I checked myself in time, and said he was a "grand old master." I was so unaccountable for my actions that I sat down, leaving him standing. Of course, I at once rose, but Mr.
Cummings sharply said: "This is not a time for joking. I had no notice of the party being put off." Gowing replied: "I told Pooter in my note to tell you, as I was in a hurry. However, I'll inquire at the post-office, and we must meet again at my place." I added that I hoped he would be present at the next meeting. Carrie roared at this, and even Cummings could not help laughing.
I trembled as I opened the letter, fearing it was some bad news about Mr. Perkupp. The note was: "Dear Mr. Pooter, Come down to the Victoria Hotel without delay. Important. Yours truly, Hardfur Huttle." I asked the cabman if it was too late. The cabman replied that it was NOT; for his instructions were, if I happened to be out, he was to wait till I came home.
I said, by way of reproof to him: "You never sent to-day to paint the bath, as I requested." Farmerson said: "Pardon me, Mr. Pooter, no shop when we're in company, please." Before I could think of a reply, one of the sheriffs, in full Court costume, slapped Farmerson on the back and hailed him as an old friend, and asked him to dine with him at his lodge. I was astonished.
I found him in most extravagant spirits and in evening dress. He threw a letter on the table for me to read. To my amazement, I read that Gylterson and Sons had absolutely engaged Lupin at a salary of 200 pounds a year, with other advantages. I read the letter through three times and thought it must have been for me. But there it was Lupin Pooter plain enough. I was silent.
"You SHALL not do it, sir," I said with indignation. "Exactly," replied Mr. Perkupp; "I shall NOT do it. But I was thinking this, Mr. Pooter. Mr. Crowbillon is our most valued client, and I will even confess for I know this will not go beyond ourselves that we cannot afford very well to lose him, especially in these times, which are not of the brightest. Now, I fancy you can be of service."
Charles Pooter has not arrived at it yet," whereupon Miss Posh gave one of her piercing laughs again. Mrs. Posh sang a dozen songs at least, and I can only repeat what I have said before she does NOT sing in tune; but Lupin sat by the side of the piano, gazing into her eyes the whole time. If I had been Mr. Posh, I think I should have had something to say about it. Mr.
He said: "Oh, by-the-by, did I tell you I've cut my first name, 'William, and taken the second name 'Lupin'? In fact, I'm only known at Oldham as 'Lupin Pooter. If you were to 'Willie' me there, they wouldn't know what you meant." Of course, Lupin being a purely family name, Carrie was delighted, and began by giving a long history of the Lupins.
I replied: "Yes, sir; I love my house and I love the neighbourhood, and could not bear to leave it." Mr. Perkupp, to my surprise, said: "Mr. Pooter, I will purchase the freehold of that house, and present it to the most honest and most worthy man it has ever been my lot to meet." He shook my hand, and said he hoped my wife and I would be spared many years to enjoy it.
The dandy horse of past days has been known to overtake the SLOW COACH. "Do I make myself understood? "Very well, then! Permit me, Mr. Pooter, to advise you to accept the verb. sap. Acknowledge your defeat, and take your whipping gracefully; for remember you threw down the glove, and I cannot claim to be either mentally or physically a COWARD! "Revenons a nos moutons.
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