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Phileman Huffstater is a old bachelder, and hates wimmen. He had been on a drunk and looked dretful, tobacco juice runnin' down his face, his red hair all towsled up, and his clothes stiff with dirt. He wuzn't invited, but had come of his own accord.
And she scoffed at the idee of pa ever payin' any attention to any other woman but her, when he worshipped her so. Well, so other men have felt and got led off, but I won't forebode. But I left 'em happy in their own cozy home, which I wuz glad to think I could describe to Phileman and Ann if I ever see that blessed haven, Jonesville, agin. We went out to visit the Mineral Springs.
I hadn't heard from her for years. She married Phileman Clapsaddle, and Serepty spoke out as bitter as a bitter walnut, and sez she: "She's in the poor-house." "Why, Serepta Pester!" sez I, "what do you mean?" "I mean what I say, my sister, Azuba Clapsaddle, is in the poor-house." "Why, where is their property gone?" sez I. "They wuz well off.
Here his knee jints kinder gin out under him, and he slid down onto the seat and went to sleep. I guess the members wuz kinder shamed of Phileman, for Lime Peedick jumped up quick as scat and said, "It seemed the Englishmen had tried most everything else, and he wondered how it would work if them militant wimmen could be ketched and a dose of sunthin' bitter and sickenin' poured down 'em.
But Philander scorfed at him and reminded him that such hullsale doin's would put an end to the world's bein' populated at all. But Phileman said in a hicuppin', maudlin way that "the world had better stop, if there had got to be such doin's, wimmen risin' up on every side, and pretendin' to be equal with men."
Azuba had five thousand dollars of her own when she married him." "I know it," sez she, "and I can tell you, Josiah Alien's wife, where their property has gone, it has gone down Phileman Clapsaddle's throat. Look down that man's throat and you will see 150 acres of land, a good house and barn, twenty sheep and forty head of cattle." "Why-ee!" sez I.
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