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The mourning ran not in Trim's head, whatever it did in Susannah's. I hope said Trim, explaining himself, I hope in God the news is not true. I heard the letter read with my own ears, answered Obadiah; and we shall have a terrible piece of work of it in stubbing the ox-moor. Oh! he's dead, said Susannah. As sure, said the scullion, as I'm alive.
But having never hitherto been pressed with such a conjuncture of things, as made it necessary to settle either the priority or justice of their claims like a wise man he had refrained entering into any nice or critical examination about them: so that upon the dismission of every other project at this crisis the two old projects, the Ox-moor and my Brother, divided him again; and so equal a match were they for each other, as to become the occasion of no small contest in the old gentleman's mind which of the two should be set o'going first.
Now as this was a reasonable, and in course a most christian indulgence to deprive him of it, without why or wherefore and thereby make an example of him, as the first Shandy unwhirl'd about Europe in a post-chaise, and only because he was a heavy lad would be using him ten times worse than a Turk. On the other hand, the case of the Ox-moor was full as hard.
I think there must certainly have been a mixture of ill-luck in it, that the reasons on both sides should happen to be so equally balanced by each other; for though my father weigh'd them in all humours and conditions spent many an anxious hour in the most profound and abstracted meditation upon what was best to be done reading books of farming one day books of travels another laying aside all passion whatever viewing the arguments on both sides in all their lights and circumstances communing every day with my uncle Toby arguing with Yorick, and talking over the whole affair of the Ox-moor with Obadiah yet nothing in all that time appeared so strongly in behalf of the one, which was not either strictly applicable to the other, or at least so far counterbalanced by some consideration of equal weight, as to keep the scales even.
A hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of his brains by turns he would do this, and that and t'other He would go to Rome he would go to law he would buy stock he would buy John Hobson's farm he would new fore front his house, and add a new wing to make it even There was a fine water-mill on this side, and he would build a wind-mill on the other side of the river in full view to answer it But above all things in the world, he would inclose the great Ox-moor, and send out my brother Bobby immediately upon his travels.
This was not altogether so easy to be done; for though 'tis certain my father had long before set his heart upon this necessary part of my brother's education, and like a prudent man had actually determined to carry it into execution, with the first money that returned from the second creation of actions in the Missisippi-scheme, in which he was an adventurer yet the Ox-moor, which was a fine, large, whinny, undrained, unimproved common, belonging to the Shandy-estate, had almost as old a claim upon him: he had long and affectionately set his heart upon turning it likewise to some account.
For to be sure, with proper helps, in the hands of some people, tho' the Ox-moor would undoubtedly have made a different appearance in the world from what it did, or ever could do in the condition it lay yet every tittle of this was true, with regard to my brother Bobby let Obadiah say what he would.
In point of interest the contest, I own, at first sight, did not appear so undecisive betwixt them; for whenever my father took pen and ink in hand, and set about calculating the simple expence of paring and burning, and fencing in the Ox-moor, &c. &c. with the certain profit it would bring him in return the latter turned out so prodigiously in his way of working the account, that you would have sworn the Ox-moor would have carried all before it.
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