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'Don't tantalise wid talkin' av dhrink, or I'll shtuff you into your own breech-block an' fire you off! grunted Mulvaney. Ortheris chuckled, and from a niche in the veranda produced six bottles of gingerade. 'Where did ye get ut, ye Machiavel? said Mulvaney. ''Tis no bazar pop. ''Ow do Hi know wot the Orf'cers drink? answered Ortheris. 'Arst the mess-man.
"We had no further spache thin or afther, but, wan by another, he drafted the twelve av my room out into other rooms an' got thim spread among the Comp'nies, for they was not a good breed to live together, an' the Comp'ny orf'cers saw ut. They wud ha' shot me in the night av they had known fwhat I knew; but that they did not.
'That's not so bad as hintin' we should loose off on the colonel. 'Colonel be sugared! I'd as soon as not put a shot through his helmet to see him jump and clutch his old horse's head. But Mulcahy talks o' shootin' our comp'ny orf'cers accidental. 'He said that, did he? said Horse Egan. 'Somethin' like that, anyways.
Light work ut was, wid lashins av beer and the gurl that dhressed the orf'cers' ladies but she died in Aggra twelve years gone, an' my tongue's gettin' the betther av me. They was actin' a play thing called Sweethearts, which you may ha' heard av, an' the Colonel's daughter she was a lady's maid. The Capt'n was a boy called Broom Spread Broom was his name in the play.
Orf'cers was scarce in thim days, fwhat with dysintry an' not takin' care av thimselves, an' we was sint out wid only wan orf'cer for the comp'ny; but he was a Man that had his feet beneath him, an' all his teeth in their sockuts." "Who was he?" I asked, "Captain O'Neil Old Crook Cruikna-bulleen him that I tould ye that tale av whin he was in Burma. Hah! He was a Man.
"Wan day, bein' mortial idle, or they wud never ha' thried ut, the rig'mint gave amsure theatricals orf'cers an' orfcers' ladies. You've seen the likes time an' again, sorr, an' poor fun 'tis for them that sit in the back row an' stamp wid their boots for the honor av the rig'mint. I was told off for to shif' the scenes, haulin' up this an' draggin' down that.
I wonder now in thim days that my ears did not grow a yard on me head wid list'nin'. But I looked straight forninst me an' hauled up this an' dragged down that, such as was my duty, an' the orf'cers' ladies sez one to another, thinkin' I was out av listen-reach: "Fwhat an obligin' young man is this Corp'ril Mulvaney!" I was a Corp'ril then.
I wonder now in thim days that my ears did not grow a yard on me head wid list'nin'. But I looked straight forninst me an' hauled up this an' dragged down that, such as was my duty, an' the orf'cers' ladies sez one to another, thinkin' I was out av listen-reach: 'Fwhat an obligin' young man is this Corp'ril Mulvaney! I was a Corp'ril then.
'We had no further spache thin or afther, but, wan by another, he drafted the twelve av my room out into other rooms an' got thim spread among the Comp'nies, for they was not a good breed to live together, an' the Comp 'ny orf'cers saw ut. They wud ha' shot me in the night av they had known fwhat I knew; but that they did not.
I won't marry then, not I! I'll 'old on and learn the orf'cers' ways an' apply for exchange into a reg'ment that doesn't know all about me. Then I'll be a bloomin' orf'cer. Then I'll ask you to 'ave a glass o' sherry wine, Mister Lew, an' you'll bloomin' well 'ave to stay in the hanty-room while the Mess-Sergeant brings it to your dirty 'ands." "S'pose I'm going to be a Bandmaster? Not I, quite.
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