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"'How Oggsouash and I come together is neither here nor there, although I could find it in my heart to wish it was, I says.
"'Thank you, thank you for them sweet words, spoke by somebody alive, anyhow, says I. 'And this much more, Mrs. Scraggs, says I, 'before we part. If ever you hear me complain of anythin' concernin' you ladies just you say "Oggsouash" to me and hold your hand, so, to indicate an empty glass.
"'The names of all these little towns is so much alike, says I, 'that I've forgot the name of this one already. "'Yes? says he, raisin' his eyebrows. Of course, as a matter of fact, I hadn't thought to look at my ticket; but having started on this line I meant to buck through. "'Yes, says I. 'Would you mind giving it to me? "'Oggsouash, says he. "There was silence for a second.
"I don't think it has ever been my privilege to gaze on one hundred and fifty faces all so astonished at one and the same time as when I stepped forward to the center of the stage at Oggsouash and addressed the meetin', me bein' clad as Santy Claus, in flowin' white whiskers, hair to match. Jimmy's coat that come down almost to my waist, a baggage-truck of toys behind me, and a gun in each hand.
If I missed my freight I stayed in Oggsouash over night, so, reasonin' thus, the tall form of E. G. W. Scraggs might 'a' been seen proceedin' toward the railroad track at the rate of seventeen statute miles per hour. Just as I hooked on to the caboose comes a feller pastin' after me. "'Say! he whoops. 'Say! We want to thank you!
I have held up a train to hear what the passengers would say, but lackin' the advantages that has doubtless been yours, I duck when it comes to reformin' Heaven. "'It struck me with the force of a revelation when I arrived at your glowin' mertroppollus this afternoon that to make any human bein', particlerly children, forget for a time that they lived in Oggsouash was a religious duty.
"'Turn it in to the kids, says I. 'Good-night, Oggsouash, good-night, I says, 'Partin' is such sweet sorrow that I could say good-night as long as my wind held out. "Well, sir, it was nigh three in the mornin' when I hit Castle Scraggs agin, after the coldest walk to be found anywhere outdoors; but when Mrs.
"And furthermore, in the wildest dreams of my youth I had never figgered on spendin' a cold and cloudy Christmas in the bosom of a Presbyterian, Prohibition, Vegetarian Colony. It stood to reason if I didn't do something to that colony the colony would do a thing to Scraggs. I made up my mind that right here was where I jarred Oggsouash to a finish.
'But now that the worst has happened, let us meet the consequences like men you, like men raised and prostrated by such things as cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and hay, washed down by the water which flows in all its glistening uselessness among the hop-toads and mud-turtles of Oggsouash Creek; and me, like men that pick the hindleg of an ox at a sittin' and make the spirits in Peg-leg's place go down like the approach of Arctic breezes.
'I told them. says she, 'that you would address them at seven, sharp. "She and me an Jimmy finished Jimmy's lunch and sat around, whilst I told 'em anecdotes concernin' life as it was lived outside the bonds of Oggsouash, till quarter to seven rolled around. Then we took the back way to the church.
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