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'Kape on shwimmin', ye little blayguard, sez I, 'an' don't go pokin' your dirty jokes at the Irriwaddy, 'Silince, men! sings out the Lift'nint. So we shwum on into the black dhark, wid our chests on the logs, trustin' in the Saints an' the luck av the British Army. "Evenshually, we hit ground a bit av sand an' a man. I put my heel on the back av him. He skreeched an' ran.
"'Faith, thinks I, 'that's Honour an' Glory'; for 'twas Lift'nint Brazenose did that job. 'I'm wid ye, Sorr, sez I, 'if I'm av use. They shud niver ha' sent you down wid the draf'. Savin' your presince, Sorr, I sez, ''tis only Lift'nint Hackerston in the Ould Rig'mint can manage a Home draf'.
He ran to his house; an' we spint the rest av the day carryin' the Lift'nint on our showlthers round the town, an' playin' wid the Burmese babies fat, little, brown little divils, as pretty as picturs.
He sez only, 'Portsmith Barricks an' the 'Ard av a Sunday! Thin he lay down an' rowled any ways wid laughin'. "Whin we was all dhressed, we counted the dead sivinty-foive dacoits besides wounded. We tuk five elephints, a hunder' an' sivinty Sniders, two hunder' dahs, and a lot av other burglarious thruck. Not a man av us was hurt excep' maybe the Lift'nint, an' he from the shock to his dasincy.
We hunted, an' we hunted, an' tuk fever an' elephints now an' again; but no dacoits, Evenshually, we puckarowed wan man, 'Trate him tinderly, sez the Lift'nint. So I tuk him away into the jungle, wid the Burmese Interprut'r an' my clanin'-rod.
"'Now we've done it! sez Lift'nint Brazenose. 'Where the Divil is Lungtungpen? There was about a minute and a half to wait. The bhoys laid a hould av their rifles an' some thried to put their belts on; we was marchin' wid fixed baynits av coorse.
"'Faith, thinks I, 'that's Honor an' Glory, for 'twas Lift'nint Brazenose did that job. 'I'm wid ye, sorr, sez I, 'if I'm av use. They shud niver ha' sent you down wid the draf'. Savin' your presince, sorr, I sez, 'tis only Lift'nint Hackerston in the Ould Rig'mint can manage a Home draf'.
The night was chokin' dhark, an' just as we was fairly embarked, I heard the Lift'nint behind av me callin' out. 'There's a bit av a nullah here, sorr, sez I, 'but I can feel the bottom already. So I cud, for I was not a yard from the bank. "'Bit av a nullah! Bit av an eshtuary! sez the Lift'nint. 'Go on, ye mad Irishman!
A little before I was inviladed from Burma, me an' four-an'-twenty young wans undher a Lift'nint Brazenose, was ruinin' our dijeshins thryin' to catch dacoits. An' such double-ended divils I niver knew! Tis only a dah an' a Snider that makes a dacoit, Widout thim, he's a paceful cultivator, an' felony for to shoot.
"Whin I was inviladed for the dysent'ry to India, I sez to the Lift'nint, 'Sorr, sez I, 'you've the makin's in you av a great man; but, av you'll let an ould sodger spake, you're too fond of the-ourisin'. He shuk hands wid me and sez, 'Hit high, hit low, there's no plasin' you, Mulvaney.
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