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The galls larf, the helps larf, and the, bed-room maid larfs; and who the plague can blame them? Old Marm don't larf though, because she is too perlite, and besides, she's lost her flowers, and that's no larfin' matter; and you don't larf, 'cause you feel a little the nastiest you ever did, and jist as near like a fool as to be taken for one, in the dark, that's a fact.
The galls larf, the helps larf, and the, bed-room maid larfs; and who the plague can blame them? Old Marm don't larf though, because she is too perlite, and besides, she's lost her flowers, and that's no larfin' matter; and you don't larf, 'cause you feel a little the nastiest you ever did, and jist as near like a fool as to be taken for one, in the dark, that's a fact.
He never does it to a 'somebody, 'cause that would cost him his place, but when a 'nobody' has a droll name, he jist gives an accent, or a sly twist to it, that folks can't help a larfin', no more than Mr. Nobody can feelin' like a fool. He's a droll boy, that; I should like to know him.
It makes me so kinder wamblecropt when I think on it, that I'm afeared to venture on matrimony at all. I have seen some Bluenoses most properly bit, you may depend. You've seen a boy a-slidin' on a most beautiful smooth bit of ice, hain't you, larfin', and hoopin', and hallooin' like one possessed, when presently sowse he goes in over head and ears?
"Well then I have," said he, "and if he don't look like a fool all the time he is a-settin' on the eggs, it's a pity; no soul could help larfin' to see him. Our old nigger, January Snow, had a spite agin one of father's roosters, seein' that he was a coward, and wouldn't fight.
"Well, that encouraged her, for there ain't much harm in a larfin' man; it's only them that never larf that's fearfulsome. So sais she 'My good man, will you he so kind as to lend me your arm down this awful peak, and I will reward you handsomely, you may depend.
How little did I then dream of the amazing surprise that was in store for me! 'Oh, 'm, 'e's come! she exclaimed, 'an' you never did see anything in your life 'arf so funny. I've been larfin' fit to split my sides. 'Elizabeth, I said coldly, 'what is wrong? Of whom are you speaking? For answer she threw her apron over her head and went off into an almost hysterical fit of laughing.
"I was good-natered agin by that time, an' I sez, larfin' along with her, 'Waal I've got three mittens, but I guess I might's waal hev 'nother, and that will make two pair complete. Say, Bewlah, will yeou hev me? "'Yes, I will, sez she. "'Reelly? sez I. "'Solemn trew, sez she.
If she didn't scream, it's a pity, and the more she screamed the more folks larfed, for no soul could help larfin', till one of the waiters folded her up in a tablecloth.
They wuz good an' wide, an' I lay down keerful. The folks kep' me hitched up nigh an hour 'fore they started; an' larfed why, they all but lay down themselves with larfin'. Say, Boney, if you've got to be hitched to anything that goes on wheels, you've got to be hitched with somefin'." "Go an' jine a circus," said Muldoon, "an' walk on your hind legs.
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