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And in that moment she wanted nothing more in the world than to nestle against him, to feel him put his arm around her protectively, kiss her gently, and tell her it would be all right. Kataya no longer mattered. This mattered. She wanted to give herself to him, as Kalus had to her rival. Even bear him a child..... And suddenly she knew that was it. His sorrow.
But lost in her own bitterness, she could give him no sign. So he sighed, and said simply. 'Kataya and I had hoped that perhaps Ishmael..... But he's gone now, and who knows if we'll ever see him again, or even if his chromosomes would match. 'Ishmael will come back, answered Kalus seriously, the doctor's words largely lost on him, but wanting to ease Kataya's pain.
Also, as Kataya had intended, he felt something akin to jealousy at his presence here with her. There was the matter of possession. This was Ishmael, so named by Kataya -the second leader, who would be first when the eldest died. He stood his ground in silence, along with the leader, and slowly the others returned, though maintaining their distance, and keeping close to the water's edge.
Sylviana could only watch and listen, and tell herself in vain she didn't love him. Because she had been stung by the affection he showed Kataya, and refused to admit she was afraid of losing him. The next morning Kalus was woken by Kataya, who came to the secluded clear space where he had made his bed on softer ground, with the sleeping bag that Rawlings had given him.
He rolled over onto his side, muttering, and perhaps an hour later fell at last into a restless, brooding sleep. But Kataya could no more sleep than bring back the dead, stung to the very heart by intolerable memories of the love she had lost forever.
Kalus, feeling a genuine desire to work and do his share, as well as needing something to distract him, began to work the fields with Jim Smith, the botanist, his only real friend among the colonists. He still spoke to Kataya, but had told her that for a time it was best they keep some distance between them, and she had not objected.
But at that moment she heard a voice outside the open door. 'I thought I saw her go into the library, answered McIntyre to an unknown questioner. She stiffened, quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. Kataya knocked lightly, then entered. 'Hello, Commander. Am I disturbing you? I'd hoped to speak with Sylviana. There was no animosity in her voice. If anything, it was softened and conciliatory.
It just goes on and on, with Sylviana slipping farther and farther away. 'All waves must eventually end, Kalus. This one will, too. And when you find yourself safely landed among us? She hesitated. 'And if the girl is no longer yours? What then? 'I cannot even think of that. It would be the end of everything, of life itself. Kataya hung her head.
And I should have been more than content with the one, if she..... Well if..... I don't know if I can help you, he finished weakly. But then, whether because of the alcohol, the other man's openness, or the sheer physical need to let it out, he told him. 'I made love to Kataya last night. 'Good, said Smith warmly. 'Good for you. 'Not good for me. . .or Sylviana.
It was not greater wisdom that sent her to him in the end, but an agitation of sorrow and loneliness that were longer, and more inescapable. While Sylviana forced herself to stay, Kataya shed a single, honest tear, and surrendered. Kalus stirred, feeling silken fingers touch his breast, bare legs against his own.
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