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"Well, sir, whin th' dillygates see they cudden't do business in Europe, says they to thimsilves: 'We'll pike acrost th' ragin' sea, they says, 'an in th' home iv Wash'nton, Lincoln, an' Willum J. Bryan, ye bet we'll have a hearin', an' they got wan. Ivrybody's listenin' to thim. But no wan replies.
In th' ol' times th' la-ads that announces what's goin' to happen in the first act, always promised ye a happy marredge in th' end an' as ivrybody's lookin' f'r a happy marredge, that held the aujeence. Now ye know that th' hero with th' wretched past is goin' to elope with th' dhrunken lady an' th' play is goin' to end with th' couples prettily divorced in th' centher iv th' stage.
An' there was a man that wud bite a silver dollar in two befure he'd take it f'r good." "My aunt seen a ghost wanst," said Mr. Hennessy. "Ivrybody's aunt has seen a ghost," said Mr. Dooley. "Well, sir, if there's wan person in th' wurruld that I really invy 'tis me frind th' ex-Prisidint iv Harvard. What a wondherful thing is youth.
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