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They'se nawthin' ye can tell him. He thinks iv himsilf goin' back to Canton with a r-red necktie on, an' settin' on a cracker box an' tellin' th' lads whin they come in fr'm pitchin' hor-rseshoes what a hot time he's had, an' how he's seen th' hootchy-kootchy an' th' Pammer House barber shop, an' th' other ondacint sights iv a gr-reat city.
"Ye r-read that in th' pa-apers," said Mr. Dooley, "an" it isn't so. Put it down fr'm me, Hinnissy, that all expositions is a blind f'r th' hootchy-kootchy dance. They'll be some gr-reat exhibits at th' Paris fair.
Hennessy, "an' had a chunk iv coal fr'm th' sunk 'Merrimac, I'd iv handed it to that man Loot Hobson. I wud so. Th' idee iv a hero standin' up befure thousan's iv men with fam'lies an' bein' assaulted be ondacint females. It med me blush down to th' soles iv me feet. If they let this thing go on, be hivins, why do they stop th' hootchy-kootchy?"
He'll be settin' up there undher a pa'm-three with naygurs fannin' him an' a dhrop iv licker in th' hollow iv his ar-rm, an' hootchy-kootchy girls dancin' befure him, an' ivry tin or twinty minyits some wan bringin' a prisoner in. 'Who's this? says King Dooley. 'A Spanish gin'ral, says th' copper. 'Give him a typewriter an' set him to wurruk, says th' king. 'On with th' dance, he says.
'My relligion, says th' Englishman. 'These pore, benighted savidges, he says, ''ll not be left to yer odjious morals an' yer hootchy-kootchy school iv thought, he says, 'but, he says, 'undher th' binif'cint r-rule iv a wise an' thrue gover'mint, he says, ''ll be thurly prepared f'r hivin, he says, 'whin their time comes to go, he says, 'which I thrust will not be long, he says.
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