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"Their coal-boxes do stink though," said a Hoxton man in the Royal Fusiliers. "Reminds me of our howitzer shells in the Boer War; they used to let off a lot of stuff that turned yellow. I've seen Boers hairy men, you know, sir with their beards turned all yellow by them. Regular hair-restorers, they was."

Such individual experiences I have always likened to the auto-suggestion of those few who believe the advertisements of the hair-restorers you will forgive the unpoetic simile for the sake of its exactitude as against the verdict of the world that a genuine discovery of such a remedy would leave no single doubter in Europe or America, nor even in the London Clubs!

It did not matter long to our forefathers whether these hair-dyes dyed, or hair-restorers restored, for a fashion hated by some of the early Puritans as a choice device of Satan the fashion of wig-wearing was to revolutionize the matter of masculine hair. The question of wigs was a difficult one to settle, since the ministers themselves could not agree.

"Let her flaps fly behind for a yard at the least, Let her curls meet just under her chin, Let those curls be supported to keep up the list, With an hundred instead of one pin." We can easily see that after such rough treatment the hair needed restoring waters; and indeed from earliest times hair-restorers and hair-dyes did these "vain ancients" use.

Agnes chanced to notice that the other bottles the clerk was returning to the shelves were all samples of dyes and "hair-restorers." "Maybe he's buying something for Mr. Murphy. Mr. Murphy is awfully bald on top," thought Agnes, and that's all she did think about it until the next day. The girls had invited Neale to go to their church, with them and he had promised to be there.

The ant, which for many years served as a model of intelligence and industry in the school-readers, has been proven to be a doddering idiot and a waster of time and effort. The owl to-day is hooted at. Chautauqua conventions have abandoned culture and adopted diabolo. Graybeards give glowing testimonials to the venders of patent hair-restorers.