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"Arrah, sir," said he to the steward, "you wouldn't have e'er an ould barn that I'd throw myself in fwhor the night? The sarra leg I have to put undher me, now that I've got stiff with the sittin' so lang; that, an' a wishp o' sthraw, to sleep an, an' Gad bliss you!"
"Arrah, miss, sure 'tisn't pigs you're thinkin' on, an' us discoorsin' about the gintlemen from Ireland, that you're all so fond ow here; faix, miss, they're the boys that fwoight for yees, an' 'ud rather be bringing an Englishman to the sad fwhor your sakes, nor atin' bread an' butther.
An sure enough it's the same here amongst yez," added he, packing up the bread and beef as he spoke, "but Gad bliss the custom, any how, fwhor it's a good one!" When he had secured the provender, and was ready to resume his journey, he began to yawn, and to exhibit the most unequivocal symptoms of fatigue.
Fwhor in regard it cannot spake fwhor itself, sir, it frets as wise as a Christyeen, when it's not honestly thrated." "Never fear, Paddy; we shall take good care of it." "And how do you manage that in Ireland, Paddy?" "Fwhy, sir, I'll tell you how the misthress Gad bless her, will manage it fwhor you.
A wink o' sleep, I may say, didn't crass my eye these three nights; an' I'd wish to stretch myself beside the poor boy widin. I'm an my keepin', boys, and fwhin you know that the law was at my heels fwhor the last foive weeks, you'll allow I want rest: throth I must throw myself somewhere."
"Oh, I have done wid you," he replied; "you're not right, I say but never mind, I'll put a pin in M'Mahon's collar for this ay will I." "Don't!" she exclaimed, in one fearful monosyllable, and then she added in a low condensed whisper, "or if you do, mark the consequence." "Trot, Phil," said Teddy, "I think you needn't throuble your head about M'Mahon he's done fwhor."
"Thrath, I do, my lady; the Irish and English women would flog the world, an' sure it would be a burnin' shame to go to sot them agin one another fwhor beauty." "Whom do you mean by the 'darlin's beyant?" inquired the blue-stocking, attempting to pronounce the words. "Faix, miss, who but the crathers ower the wather, that kills us entirely, so they do."
"Troth, sir, you have the crathur at what we call in Ireland a bargain.* Maybe yer haner 'ud spit upon the money fwhor luck, sir. It's the way we do, sir, beyant." * Ironically a take in. "No, no, Paddy, take it as it is. Good heavens! what barbarous habits these Irish have in all their modes of life, and how far they are removed from anything like civilization!" "Thank yer haner.
Having satisfied his hunger, he deliberately but with the greatest simplicity of countenance filled the wallet which he carried slung across his back, with whatever he had left, observing as he did it: "Fwhy, thin, 'tis sthrange it is, that the same custom is wit us in Ireland beyant that is here: fwhor whinever a thraveller is axed in, he always brings fwhat he doesn't ate along wit him.
"Thank your haner; is it whorid toarst the house abow, sir? I wouldn't be standin' up, sir, wit you about a thrifle; an you'll have her, sir, fwhor any thing you plase beyant a pound, yer haner; an' 'tis throwin' her away it is: but one can't be hard wit a rale gintleman any way." "You only annoy me, man; besides I don't want the pig; you lose time; I don't want to buy it, I repeat to you."
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