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The fax in the kase is these here: A few weeks ago I left Baldinsville to go to N.Y. fur to git out my flamin yeller hanbills fur the Summer kampane, & as I was peroosin a noospaper on the kars a middel aged man in speckterkuls kum & sot down beside onto me. He was drest in black close & was appeerently as fine a man as ever was. "A fine day, Sir," he did unto me strateway say.
"Long may thay wave!" sez I, seein I shood git into a scrape ef I didn't look out. In a privit conversashun with Brigham I learnt the follerin fax: It takes him six weeks to kiss his wives. He don't do it only onct a yere & sez it is wuss nor cleanin house. He don't pretend to know his children, thare is so many of um, tho they all know him.
No; there was one point upon which she had not mystified him: he knew she really hated him. . . . The wind was against the smoke that day; and his spirits rose, as he walked in the brisk air with the rich sky above him. After all, this venture upon his native purlieus had been fax from fruitless: he could not have expected to do much better.
It now regarded them as the special representatives of the despised element of sex in life. The eccentric Tertullian had once declared that woman was janua Diaboli; nearly seven hundred years later, even the gentle and philosophic Anselm wrote: Femina fax est Satanæ.
Now he is on the summit, gazing fax out into the sea, into the infinite distance where heaven and sea unite and become one. He stretches out his arms and utters a cry of exultation that resounds through the mountains like the scream of the eagle: "Thither will I, to the land of promise and of fortune! to the land where slaves become heroes, and heroes princes! Mother, your dream shall be realized!
But, after all these "fash'nable fax and polite annygoats," as Thackeray would have called them, after all these engaging courtesies of kings and prelates and great ladies, I think that the honours in the way of repartee rest with the little Harrow boy who was shouting himself hoarse in the jubilation of victory after an Eton and Harrow match at Lord's in which Harrow had it hollow.
Now if the senses presented our impressions as external to, and independent of ourselves, both the objects and ourselves must be obvious to our senses, otherwise they coued not be compared by these faculties. The difficulty, then, is how fax we are ourselves the objects of our senses.
Though not altogether gratified by this whole-hearted agreement with his own views, Verity was too anxious to keep his hearer on the present tack to resent any implied slur on his earlier efforts as a caterer. "It's nothing to wot I'd do if I could afford it," he added graciously. "But, as you said, let's look at the fax.
The next morning he saw painted in white paint on his own wall "My dearly beloved, for all you're so bold, To-morrow you'll find you're left out in the cold; And, Doctor, the reason you need not to ax, It's because of a dressmaker Mrs. F -fax." He was going out just as the gardener was about to obliterate the inscription.
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