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"Oh, my neck's broke! the curse Oh! I'm kilt fairly, so I am! The curse o' Cromwell an you, an' hould away 'The Holy Land adornin' All by the Baltic Say. The angels on a Station, Wor takin' raycrayation, All in deep meditation, All by the' contints o' the book if you don't hould away, I say agin, an' let me go on wid my rann it'll be worse force for you!
Here then was an opportunity of an interview with him, and of earning five shillings, a good dinner, and a quart of strong beer, as already specified. "Art," said he, "give me the letther, an' I'm the boy that'll soon do the job. Long life to you, Art! Be the contints o' the book, Art, I'll never pelt you or vex you agin, my worthy; an' I'll always call you captain!"
Well, if it hadn't been that his Holiness was in it, Father Tom 'ud have given him the contints of his tumbler betuxt the two eyes, for calling him a liar; and, in troth, it's very well it was in Latin the offence was conveyed, for, if it had been in the vernacular, there's no saying what 'ud ha' been the consequence. His Riv'rence was mighty angry anyhow.
When he swears "By the contints o' Moll Kelly's Primer," or "By the piper that played afore Moses," you are, perhaps, as strongly inclined to believe him as when he draws upon a more serious oath; that is, you almost regret the thing is not the gospel that Paddy asserts it to be.
Thus does he, under the mask of an insinuation, induce you to believe that he has actually sworn it, whereas the oath is always left undefined and incomplete. Sometimes he is exceedingly comprehensive in his adjurations, and swears upon a magnificent scale; as, for instance, "By the contints of all the books that ever wor opened an' shut, it's as thrue as the sun to the dial."
"I saved his life," said Sampson sorrowfully; "but life is not the only good thing a man may be robbed of by those who steal his life-blood, and so impoverish and water the contints of the vessels of the brain." "Doctor Sampson," said Alfred, "what do you mean by these mysterious words? You alarm me." "What, don't you know? Haven't they told you?"
"Now, Mrs. Doran, you think I thrated you ondacent; but do you see that book?" said he, producing a book of ballads, on which he had sworn many a similar oath before? "Be the contints o' that book, as sure as you're beside me, it's you I intind to marry. These other two the curse o' the crows upon them!
"Och, an' why wouldn't I, Phelim, acushla? Sure that's but rason." "Well, take this book an' swear it. Be gorra, your word won't do, for it's a thing my mind's made up on. It's I that'll be fond o' the childre." "An' how am I to swear it, Phelim? for I never tuck an oath myself yet." "Take the book in your hand, shut one eye, and say the words afther me. Be the contints o' this book,"
'Surrendhur, you thievin' villain, or I'll put the contints iv this gun into yir carcass, shouted an awful voice from the right bank, and Puddock saw the outline of a gigantic marksman, preparing to fire into his corresponding flank. 'What do you mean, Sir? shouted Puddock, in extreme wrath and discomfort.
This is my house, and has been for twenty years. I want this man searched. "'Oi hov no warrant permithin' me to invistigate the contints ov dthe gintlemon's clothes, returned the intelligent member of the force. 'But av yez 'll take yer solemn alibi dthat yez hov rayson t' belave the gintlemon has worked ony habeas corpush business on yure propherty, oi'll jug dthe blag-yard.
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