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"Wall, by gum," said he, "'twas the beatemest thing you ever heered on. I was waked up by these critters squawkin' over my haouse; I fired up chimbly, and daown tumbled the whole gang; the fire burnt off the feathers and roasted um up braown afore I could get at um." "But how about the stuffing?" "Oh, that's nothin'; they'd stuffed themselves afore I shot um."
The time Hen Scovil fell down the chimbly and crippled his back for life, everybody said it would be a lesson to him. What kind of a lesson? How was he going to use it? He couldn't climb chimblies no more, and he hadn't no more backs to break." "All de same, Mars Tom, dey IS sich a thing as learnin' by expe'ence.
It was one of them big, old-fashioned, clay-lined fire-places that goes right acrost the end of the room, with a twenty-five foot slab-an'-tin chimbly outside. Dave Regan was pretty wild about being had, an' we copped all the gals for darncin'; he couldn't get one that night, an' when he wasn't proddin' out his tooth with a red-hot wire some one was chaffin' him about Mrs Hardwick.
Wife did threaten to go herself an' make the teacher apologize for gittin' the little feller all sooted up an' sp'iln' his clo'es; but she thought it over, an' she decided thet she wouldn't disturb things ez long ez they was peaceful. An', after all, he didn't exac'ly send him down the chimbly nohow, though he provoked him to it.
"De ole chimbly smoke extrorninary at dis season. De chickens and de turkies know dat chimbly well." "Guess they do," said Felix. "General Ransome, can you keep a secret?" "I is close as Missa Pint pocket, dat button all round," said the old negro.
It had never been opened since the building of the house. "The wind blows under Father McQueen's door like spray from the land-wash," said the old woman. "'Twill be comin' down the chimbly," said Dennis, aware of the tide of icy wind low about his feet. He crossed the room and opened the door of the dismal chamber reserved for the use of the missionary.
"I'll have my supper with you," said she. "Come, Jenny, I'm cook; and you make the kitchen as a body could eat off it, for I expect vicitors." "La, ma'am," said the mite; "he can't get out of the chimbly to visit hus through the street door." "No, girl," said Nancy. "But he can send a hambassador; so Show her heyes and plague her art, as the play says, for of all the dirty kitchens give me hers.
Now, dar wuz six hundred an' odd ob our tickets went inter dat box. Dat's shore. But dar wa'n't t'ree hundred come out. I pertended ter be drunk, an' laid down by de chimbly whar dar was a peep-hole inter dat room, an' seed dat countin' done. When dey fust opened de box one on 'em sez, sez he,
"She's as mad as a hatter, right enough, Dave," says Billy Grimshaw. "Don't you go there no more, Dave, it ain't safe." An' we lent Dave a hat an' a clean shirt, an' he went on inter town. "You ought to have humoured her," says Billy, as Dave rode away. "You ought to have told her to put a wet bag over her chimbly an' hang the fish inside to smoke." But Dave was too stunned to ketch on.
"I didn't know ye were up yet, aunty," said Jeff submissively. "It isn't more than six o'clock." "Thar's four more to feed at breakfast," said his aunt severely, "and yer's the top blown off the kitchen chimbly, and the fire only just got to go." Jeff saw that he was in time.
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