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'I must return tomorrow, said Nicholas, 'but I mean to dine with you today, and if Mrs Browdie can give me a bed 'Bed! cried John, 'I wish thou couldst sleep in fower beds at once. Ecod, thou shouldst have 'em a'. Bide till I coom back; on'y bide till I coom back, and ecod we'll make a day of it.
Giving his wife a hearty kiss, and Nicholas a no less hearty shake of the hand, John mounted his horse and rode off: leaving Mrs Browdie to apply herself to hospitable preparations, and his young friend to stroll about the neighbourhood, and revisit spots which were rendered familiar to him by many a miserable association.
'Why didn't 'ee punch his head, or lay theeself doon and kick, and squeal out for the pollis? I'd ha' licked a doozen such as him when I was yoong as thee. But thee be'est a poor broken-doon chap, said John, sadly, 'and God forgi' me for bragging ower yan o' his weakest creeturs! Smike opened his mouth to speak, but John Browdie stopped him.
If he stands there, cried Nicholas, burning with fury, 'looking so calmly upon those who know his black and dastardly heart, he'll drive me mad. To all these exclamations John Browdie answered not a word, but he retained his hold upon Nicholas; and when he was silent again, spoke. 'There's more to say and hear than thou think'st for, said John. 'I tell'ee I ha' gotten scent o' thot already.
Mr Browdie gave a grin of special width, as if he thought that really was something to laugh at, and went to work at the bread and butter with increased vigour. It was quite a sight to behold how he and Nicholas emptied the plate between them. 'Ye wean't get bread and butther ev'ry neight, I expect, mun, said Mr Browdie, after he had sat staring at Nicholas a long time over the empty plate.
Nicholas bit his lip, and coloured, but affected not to hear the remark. 'Ecod, said Mr Browdie, laughing boisterously, 'they dean't put too much intiv'em. Ye'll be nowt but skeen and boans if you stop here long eneaf. Ho! ho! ho! 'You are facetious, sir, said Nicholas, scornfully.
He had not been ill-treated, he explained, but had been thoroughly cowed by Browdie, who had from time to time threatened him savagely with an iron bar by way of persuading him to quietness and submission. He had been fed, and had taken no worse harm than a slight stiffness from his adventure, due to his light under-attire of jersey and knee-shorts.
But this being a round game, and one not necessarily limited to three or four players, was open to John Browdie too, who, bursting into the little crowd to the great terror of his wife and falling about in all directions, now to the right, now to the left, now forwards, now backwards, and accidentally driving his elbow through the hat of the tallest helper, who had been particularly active, speedily caused the odds to wear a very different appearance; while more than one stout fellow limped away to a respectful distance, anathematising with tears in his eyes the heavy tread and ponderous feet of the burly Yorkshireman.
'John! interposed his wife, 'don't tease her. 'Oh! Tease, indeed! cried Miss Squeers, bridling up. 'Tease, indeed! He, he! Tease, too! No, don't tease her. Consider her feelings, pray! 'If it's fated that listeners are never to hear any good of themselves, said Mrs Browdie, 'I can't help it, and I am very sorry for it.
Ye're aboot right theer, I reckon, Mrs Browdie, said the countryman good-humouredly, as he came slowly down in his huge top-coat; 'and wa'at dost thee tak yon place to be noo thot'un owor the wa'? Ye'd never coom near it 'gin you thried for twolve moonths. It's na' but a Poast Office! Ho! ho! They need to charge for dooble-latthers. A Poast Office! Wa'at dost thee think o' thot?
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