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"It's the sort of remark," he said gravely, "that's typical of your class." "Oh," she interrupted impatiently, "don't start that lecture on aristocracy again! I distrust people who can be intense at this hour in the morning. It's a mild form of insanity a sort of breakfast-food jag. Morning's the time to sleep, swim, and be careless."
"Really, you should be more careful about the way you handle a spoon, Hedrick," said Cora languidly, and with at least a foundation of fact. "It is not the proper implement for decorating the cheeks. We all need nourishment, but it is so difficult when one sees a deposit of breakfast-food in the ear of one's vis-a-vis."
She played with the breakfast-food children, talked to the smiling tooth-powder ladies, and invented histories for the people who were so particular about their brands of soap and hosiery.
The whole thing began like Mr. George Ade's fable of the Author. An Author myself was sitting at his desk trying to turn out any old thing that could be converted into breakfast-food when a friend came in and sat down on the table, and told him to go right on and not mind him." "Did Mr. Ukridge do that?" "Very nearly that.
"But I'm a real reporter, so I won't detain you long. I don't care where you were born or where you went to school, or what patent breakfast-food you eat. Tell me, are you going to build another railroad?" "I hope so. I'm always building roads when my bids are low enough to secure the contracts; that's my business." "Are you going to build one in Alaska?" "Possibly!
It read on the boxes: "Get the habit; eat our food," and I was doing pretty well at it until I met with a discouragement. One day I met a traveling man who told me that in a town in Indiana where there was a breakfast-food factory, hundreds of carloads of corn-cobs were shipped in annually and converted into these tempting foods. My relish for this article of diet left me instanter.
"Oh, yes; I should love to, Mr. Derry." "I'll stock the larder, then. No; I can't be bothered, and I'd feel too much like a family man if I went about marketing. I'll give you carte blanche to order what you will." "What's that, Mr. Derry?" "Good! We mustn't neglect your education. I am glad you asked me. You might have always supposed it a breakfast-food."
"And of course," she went on, "you'll have to fix up a love interest. You remember you told me it was absolutely necessary to have one." "Yes, I'll try that too," I assured her. "And the post-mistress as well. All the best stories have one." "Don't you dare," she called after me, laughing. My friend was busy at his easel, blocking out a poster for a breakfast-food. "Where's Bill?" I asked.
Such people could become fishers permanently, and grow very wise from so much brain food." "They wouldn't eat, Mr. Armitage. Brain-food forsooth! You talk like a breakfast-food advertisement. My idea mine, please note is for such fortunate people to sail in pretty little boats with orange-tinted sails and pick up lost dreams. I got a hint of that in a pretty poem once
Erastus Hopkins, State Representative for the district, lent his presence to the assemblage. Not that the Honorable Erastus cared a fig about this foolish talk of exterminating advertising signs. He was himself a large stockholder in a breakfast-food factory, which painted signs wherever it could secure space.
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