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But it was all those bweastwy little bahds and the bells, you know; and it's only once a ye-ah you know, Lorton," he added. "So you will never do so again till next time is that what you mean, Horner?" I asked. "Yaas! But, bai-ey Je-ove, I say, Lorton, my deah fellah, were the Clydes those ladies in hawf-mawning, eh?" said he, smiling feebly in his usual suave manner.
"Ah," said I, "he got that by letting other people's business alone!" "Bai-ey Je-ove!" said Horner, quite staggered at this second blow. "Vewy amusing anecdote, indeed! Thank you, Lorton. Much obwiged, and all that sawt of thing, for the in-fawmation. Yaas, bai-ey Je-ove! And so I'll say good day.
By-and-by we returned; and whom should I then meet on my way home but, positively, my eye-glass acquaintance of Downing Street. Fancy his being out before nine o'clock in the morning! It was an unparalleled occurrence. "Hullo, Horner!" I sang out, "'morning, old fellow. Compliments of the season!" "Bai-ey Je-ove! Lorton, how you stawtled me 'do!"
Min at first did not join in, as she was not accustomed to the ways of us old habitues, but she presently participated, being soon as gay and noisy as any. What fun we had in blindfolding Horner, and manoeuvring so that he should rush into the arms of Miss Spight! What a shout of laughter there was when he exclaimed, clasping her the while, "Bai-ey Je-ove! Yaas, I've cawght you at lawst!"
They looked strangers to the parish, I think: you must have seen them, I'm sure, eh?" "Bai-ey Je-ove! Two middle-aged ladies; one dwessed in hawf-mawning? "Nonsense, Horner!" said I, interrupting him; "what a mess you are making of it! I said one lady was middle-aged; and both dressed in half-mourning." "Weally, now? No, Lorton, 'pon honah; didn't see 'em, I asshaw you.
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" he said, after a long pause. "I ah, came akwass a vewy good one the othah day ah. A blind beggah had a bwoth-ah, and the bwoth-ah died; now, what welation was ah, the blind beggah to the ah, dead beggah?" "His sister, of course," said Bessie Dasher, promptly.
I could not enumerate half his accomplishments in this line; and, as for whistling operatic tunes the most difficult ones, with unlimited roulades, were his especial choice "Bai-ey Je- ove!" as Horner would say, you should only have heard him.
"Bai-ey Je-ove!" exclaimed Horner, twisting his eye-glass round and making an observation for the first time the discussion before had been apparently beyond his depth, "Bai-ey Je-ove! Ju-ust what I was gaw-ing to say! Bai-ey Je-ove, yaas! But Miss Spight is much above human emawtion, you know, and all that sawt of thing, you know-ah!"
Lorton, I asshaw you I only meant to say ah that Miss Clyde sang my songs most divinely ah and that she's ah a vewy nice gahl ah!" Confound him! What business had he to say or think anything of the sort? I could faintly hear his voice exclaim "Bai-ey Je-ove!" in the distance, after some seconds' interval, during which we had become widely separated.
Well, you wouldn't have supposed that he bore me any great love or friendship, or felt kindly disposed towards me? But, he did! About a week after I left the Obstructor General's Office, he came to me I assure you, much to my astonishment offering me his assistance. "Bai-ey Je-ove! Lorton," said he, "sawy to he-ah you have left us, you know ah. Thawght you might be in a hole, you know ah?
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