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And as he mused, he begun in joyous and triumphant axents to bring up before me some of his latest and most striking instances of equinomical tightness. Sez he, "Do you remember the case of Sy Biddlecomb, and them green pumpkins of mine, how I " But I interrupted his almost fervid eloquence, and sez I, with my right hand extended in a real eloquent wave,
And as I wended on at a pretty good jog after hearin' 'em, I sez to myself "Some wimmen are born fools, some achieve foolishness, and some have foolishness thrust on 'em, and I guess them two had all three of 'em." I said it to myself loud enough so's Josiah heard me, and he sez in joyful axents
When I thought that fifty years ago the grassy prairie lay stretched out in green repose where now wuz the hard pavements worn with the world's commerce; when I thought that little prairie-dogs, and mush-rats, and squirells wuz a-runnin' along ondisturbed where now stood high blocks full of a busy city's enterprise; when I thought that little pretty, timid birds wuz a-flyin' about where now wuz steeples and high chimblys why, when I thought of all this in common readin', then the Skripter come in, and I sez to myself in deep, solemn axents
And he sez in them deep impressive axents of hisen, "You jest try it once, and see I have sot on it, and I know." Josiah wuz sent once as a delegate to the Methodist Conference, so I spozed he did know.
"Nor his pity nuther," sez I in heart-broken axents, for as I looked at them thickly sown graves and thought of the mothers and wives and sweethearts fur, fur away mournin' for them that wuz not, my tears fell and I wiped 'em off with my snowy linen handkerchief.
"How is the little girl different?" sez I in cold, icy axents. "Oh, she is a perfect beauty, older than Augustus and at boarding-school now. She is the idol of their hearts even the workmen love her, she is so gentle and sweet. Her parents adore her and expect that she will unite them to the nobility, for she is as beautiful as an angel.
I have heard that they did such things here in Washington, D.C., but I do not choose to have my attention drawed to 'em." But I pondered a minute, and the word "meetin'-house" struck a fearful blow aginst my conscience; and I says in milder axents, "If I looked upon a dido at all, it would be, not with a human woman's eye, but the eye of a Methodist.
His axents jarred onto me, and mechanically I follered him into the Moorish Palace. One reason why I follered him so meekly and willin'ly, I didn't know but he would broach the subject of seein' them Persian wimmen dance. And I felt that I would ruther give a hull churnin' of fall's butter than to have his moral old mind contaminated with the sight.
And I couldn't refrain from sayin' in encouragin', happy axents, "Haint you glad now, Josiah Allen, that you listened to your pardner; haint you glad that you haint a goin' round in a low necked coat and vest, a callin' up the blush of skern and outraged modesty to the cheeks 'of noble and modest men?"
Of course," sez I, in reasonable axents, "if you wanted to smoke a little mullen or catnip for the tizik, I wouldn't mind it; but cigaretts are dretful onhealthy, and I'm afraid that they will undermind your constitution. And I think too much on you, Ulaley, to want you underminded." She smiled, and said sunthin' about its bein' the custom of her country.
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