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And then I say to him in a tender axent, for his devotion truly touched me: "There is a difference in heads, Josiah." But he looked so worried that I most promised him I wouldn't try to write about the trip oh! how that man loves me, and I him visey versey.
"Well, that is what I thought you would say as fur as you could see into it," sez he hautily, and in the same axent he asked me if I had packed up a extra pair of socks for him. That afternoon I see Josiah and Serenus leanin' on the barnyard fence talkin' dretful earnest, I spozed about the Plan. But when I went to put my milk pans in the sun I hearn the same old story Coney Island! Dreamland!
For as she says to me once when we wus a talkin' it over, how every thing had happened to her that could happen to a woman, and how curious it wuz, "Yes," says she, with a axent like boneset and vinegar, "and what few things there are that hain't happened to me, has happened to my folks." And, sure enough, I couldn't dispute her.
I mogulated my axent low and gentle and looked mild at her over my specs, as I washed and she wiped, but my words wuz ever the same. "I feel dubersome about it, Rosy, dretful dubersome."
But Josiah continued on in that same loud axent, his liniment red as blood with anger, "If I had your darling to deal with a spell, there would be a change in him, or a funeral appinted, and the body would be ready at the time sot, I can tell you that!" Josiah wuz fearful excited and by the side of himself. Such voylent language is almost a perfect stranger to him, but he feared for my bones.
"High place!" sez Arvilly, and I fairly trembled in my shoes to hear her axent. "Wimmen occupy a dretful high place. I can tell you jest the place she occupies. You have been told of it often enough; you ort to know it, but don't seem to. A woman occupies the same bench with lunatics, idiots and criminals, only hern is enough sight harder under legal licenses and taxation laws."
I then went to her room myself, but my knock at her door elicited no reply. I then spoke in anxious, appealin' axents: "Arvilly, are you there? And are you sick a-bed? Or are you dead? Answer me, Arvilly, if either of my conjectures are true!" My axent was such that she answered to once, "I hain't dead, Josiah Allen's wife, and I hain't sick, only heart-sick."
And Josiah sez in a fraxious axent, "How queer it is that two such smart young folks can look and act so spooney, but thank heaven! it won't last. It won't be long before Royal will be willin' to pass the time o' day with a Jonesvillian." I told him there wuz nothin' so beautiful as love. "No, nor nothin' that makes folk act so like pesky fools, they don't act as though they knew putty."
Sez I, in a fearful meanin' axent, "I hearn he did at the time he wuz up I hearn he contributed lots to the male brethren who was a-judgin' him but," sez I, "do you spoze, Josiah Allen, that if wimmen wuz allowed their way in the matter, that that man would be allowed to stay in the meetin' house, and keep on a-makin' and a-sellin' the poisen that is sendin' men to ruin all round him
Sez Arvilly, in a loud, mad axent, "Talk about brutal amusements, why they ort to send missionaries to America to reform us as fur up in decency as to use animals to fight fur our recreation instead of human bein's.
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