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''Fore I answer I'll hex if tell ye a story, said Uncle Eb. 'I recollec' a man by the name o' Ranney over 'n Vermont he was a pious man. Got into an argyment an' a feller slapped him in the face. Ranney turned t'other side an' then t'other an' the feller kep' a slappin' hot 'n heavy. It was jes' like strappin' a razor fer half a minnit. Then Ranney sailed in gin him the wust lickin' he ever hed.
"I'm no good at words," he said "no good at argyment; but I've got a gift for stories round the fire of a night, with a pipe and a tin basin of tea; so I'm not going to try and match you. You've had a good education down at Winnipeg. Took every prize, they say, and led the school, though there was plenty of fuss because they let you do it, and let you stay there, being half-Indian.
The men's faces was all covered with hare and they lookt half-starved to deth. Their pockets was filled with tracks and pamplits and they was bare-footed. They sed the Postles didn't wear boots, & why should they? That was their stile of argyment. The wimin was wuss than the men. They wore trowsis, short gownds, straw hats with green ribbins, and all carried bloo cotton umbrellers.
"I 'lows your missis ken cook," said Shaky, with enthusiasm. "The feller as sez she can't lies. But wi' her, my respec' fer your hog-pen ends. I guess this argyment is closed fer va-cation. Who's fer 'draw'?" Slum turned back to the bar. "Here, Carney," he said, planking out a ten-dollar bill, "hand over chips to that.
"You have no r-relatives to suffer; alone you bear the bur-rden of your misdeeds. But if Bud goes wr-rong consider of the gr-rief of that poor Melissa, and think of the baby gr-rowing up to know that her father is a cr-riminal!" "You-all think you got a mahty strong argyment there, Mr. Baron, don' you? But let me tell you, that's the weakest one you could bring.
A shabbily dressed lounger had accosted the man who had been Viceroy in the splendid East, and who still reflected in his mien some of the cold dignity of the Himalayan snow-peaks. "Could you tell me, sir, if them white birds is storks or halbatrosses? I had an argyment " The cold dignity thawed at once into genial friendliness. "Those are pelicans, my dear sir. Are you interested in birds?
When you ax me to pin my faith on any p'int, be it for this world or the next, my first question consarnin' it is whether that particular p'int happens to be pleasant. 'Tis that little small argyment of mine that has confounded Mr. Mullen more than once, when he meets me on equal ground outside the pulpit.
"S'pos'n', den, jes' fer de argyment, me an' my ole 'oman sh'd fall out en wanter separate, how could I git a defoce?" "That would depend on what you quarreled about. It 's pretty hard work to answer general questions in a particular way.
She'd think a heap more o' me if I was to pull out o' these yere hills and try to strike it somewheres else." "Wal, squatters have made this no kind o' country for a white man. Ye're white, John." "I aim ter be." "You air, sonnie. Say, if anything happened to me, would ye watch out for Mints?" "I wonder!" "S'pose, fer the sake of argyment, that one o' these sons o' guns did for me hay?"
Bathe, fool, and your eyes will be opened! "That settled it. I'd got an argyment fer 'im now. "'Not me, I says, putting my shirt on agin. 'No beer; no baccy; no wimmen but a lot o' shameless huzzies a-hiding and a-waiting to watch a feller bathe! Not me. I go back besides, I 'ad a bath on'y a few days ago.
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