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"Ideas by which the world would be transformed.... Those letters were all old, you know, and dusty, and yellow, and eaten, some of them, by rats, and they'd lie on the floor and I'd try to arrange them in little piles according to their dates.... There'd be rows of little packets all across the floor..., and then somehow, when one's back was turned, they'd move, all of their own wicked purpose and one would have to begin all over again, bending with one's back aching, and seeing always the stupid handwriting.... I hated it, Ivan Andreievitch, of course I hated it, but I had to do it for the money.
My love the only one of my life the first and the last " She flung out her arms: "Life! Now! Before it is too late! I want it, I want him, I want happiness!" She stood thus for a moment, staring out to the sea. Then her arms dropped, she laughed, fastening her cloak "There's your nobility, Ivan Andreievitch theatrical, all of it. I know what I am, and I know what I shall do.
I've come to give you some advice, Ivan Andreievitch very simple advice. Go home to England." Before he had finished the sentence I had felt the hostility in his voice; I knew that it was to be a fight between us, and strangely, at once the self-distrust and cowardice from which I had been suffering all those weeks left me. I felt warm and happy. I felt that with Semyonov I knew how to deal.
When we met before you interfered, and you must honestly admit that you did not improve things. Now it is even more serious. I must ask you to leave my family alone, Ivan Andreievitch." "Your family!" I retorted, laughing. "Upon my word, you do them great honour. I wonder whether they'd be very proud and pleased if they knew of your adoption of them.
Alexis!" he shouted into the hay loft, and a brown face with a shock of black hair, appeared at one of the windows. "What is it, Boris Andreïevitch?" "Mamma wants the boat immediately," replied Boris. "She is going over to see Marsha's sick child." Alexis took a handful of sunflower seeds out of his pocket, and began to eat them meditatively, throwing the husks behind him.
Semyonov gave me a strange look, humorous, ironical, and, upon my word, almost affectionate: "That's very sad what you say, Ivan Andreievitch if you mean it. And I suppose you mean it, because you English always do mean what you say.... But it's sad because, truly, I have friendly feelings towards you, and you're almost the only man in the world of whom I could say that."
"Ivan Andreievitch, does Nina care for Mr. Lawrence?" She was looking at me, with large black eyes so simply, with such trust in me, that I could only tell her the truth. "Yes," I said, "she does." Her eyes fell, then she looked up at me again. "I thought so," she said. "And does he care for her?" "No," I said, "he does not." "He must," she said. "It would be a very happy thing for them to marry."
I could not tell you where I went. I know that I must have walked for miles. I walked with a great many people who were all my brothers. I had drunk nothing, not even water, and yet the effect on me was exactly as though I were drunk, drunk with happiness, Ivan Andreievitch, and with the possibility of all the things that might now be.
Well, what then? By and by, please God, the French will beat the Nyemtzi. 'To live a lifetime is not to cross a field, and everything must change sooner or later." "Well, what if they do?" echoes the big man in a tone of supreme disdain. "Let them try it! Ach, Yakov Andreievitch! how you talk!
No trams, no policemen, no carriages filled with proud people cursing you.... Oh, Ivan Andreievitch, I'd be proud myself if I had money, and servants to put on my clothes, and new women every night, and different food every day.... I don't blame them but suddenly proud people were gone, and I was crying without knowing it simply because that great crowd of poor people went pushing along, all talking under the sunny sky as freely as they pleased.
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