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'Fore we got dere, a ship hove 'longside an' gin us a message to put about. I ahsk a li'l Irishman, named Jack, wha we gwine, an' he say, 'Outa de worl'. "Jesus wep't I say, 'my mammy think I be daid. I couldn't read nor write, an' didn't know how to tell noboddy how to back a letter to my mammy, so I jes' let hit go, an' we staht back de way we come.

Then his wide lips, which nature had shaped to a perpetual grin, curled back as they were intended, his smile lit up the car, and he burst into loud laughter. "Enjoying yourself?" inquired his hero. "Passably, sar, passably!" Then, with a painful assumption of seriousness: "How is the train, sar, may I ahsk?" "On time." "Rarely it is so, as a general thing.

May I ahsk you-ah names, and may I wequest youah pwesence to-night, both to ensuah the ar fulfillment of the vehbal contwact which you have heahd, and to pwevent the wepetition of this scandalous scene?" He opened the door. "Aw wevoah, gentlemen!" By this time he was in the elevator. From this coign of vantage he sent a Parthian shaft. "Till eight o'clock, Mistah ah Tomkinson!"

"I ran up on deck, an' dare was de steward w'at gin me de bahsket to tote. 'W'at th'ell you doin' on bo'd dis ship, he ahsk me. "I tells 'im I ain't wantin' t' stay no mo'n he wants me, an' he takes me to de cap'm. 'I reckon he b'long to do navy now, says de cap'm, 'so dey fix some papers an' I makes my mark on 'em. "Ahftah a bit I find we bound fo' N'Orleans.

Now you tell me what flag I b'longs undah. "Wen we gits back to de ship, de boys tells me some English sailors beat Jack up in de sportin' house. Sumbuddy sing out 'Beat it de marines comin'!, an' dey all run for de ship an leff Jack dere. "I don't ahsk no mo' questions; jes' start back on a run to find my buddy. At dat time I weigh 180, an' was pretty husky fer my age.