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I had wandered so far from Stedman's, that, when roused by the light, I had some miles to walk before I could reach the place of meeting. Achsa was already there. I slid down the rock above, and appeared before her. Well might she be startled at my wild and abrupt appearance.
There is one worthier than all others; one whom I wish the woman who shall be my wife to resemble in all things." "And who is this model?" "You know I can only mean Achsa Fielding." "If you love her likeness, why not love herself?" I felt my heart leap. "What a thought is that! Love her I do as I love my God; as I love virtue. To love her in another sense would brand me for a lunatic."
Every one had my sympathy and kindness, without claiming it; but I claimed the kindness and sympathy of every one. Achsa Fielding's countenance bespoke, I thought, a mind worthy to be known and to be loved. The first moment I engaged her attention, I told her so.
But still, though I think you innocent of so heinous an offence, there is no harm in asking why you might not love her, and even seek her for a wife." Achsa Fielding my wife! Good Heaven! The very sound threw my soul into unconquerable tumults. "Take care, my friend," continued I, in beseeching accents, "you may do me more injury than you conceive, by even starting such a thought."
The name of this person is Achsa Fielding, and she lived, according to her own direction, at No. 40 Walnut Street. I went thither without delay. She was not at home. Having gained information from the servant as to when she might be found, I proceeded to Mrs. Wentworth's.
"Oh ho! Then the objection does not lie with you. It lies with her, it seems. She can find nothing in you to esteem! And, pray, for what faults do you think she would reject you?" "I cannot tell. That she can ever balance for a moment, on such a question, is incredible. Me! me! That Achsa Fielding should think of me!" "Incredible, indeed!
Wentworth, and Achsa Fielding, were my most valuable associates beyond my own family. With all these my correspondence was frequent and unreserved, but chiefly with the latter. This lady had dignity and independence, a generous and enlightened spirit, beyond what her education had taught me to expect.
"It shall be so; but this is but the humble outline of the scene; something is still to be added to complete our felicity." "What more can be added?" "What more? Can Achsa ask what more? She who has not been only a wife " But why am I indulging this pen-prattle? The hour she fixed for my return to her is come, and now take thyself away, quill.
Fielding, rung for admission, and shortly after returned to my own apartment. This confusion of mind was somewhat allayed by the return of light. It gave way to more uniform but not less rueful and despondent perceptions. The image of Achsa filled my fancy, but it was the harbinger of nothing but humiliation and sorrow.
She now gave herself to my arms: "I have not words Let your own heart tell you, you have made your Achsa " Fielding! where are you?" My friend started up, and, in a hasty voice, bade me begone. "You must not be seen by this giddy girl. Come hither this evening, as if by my appointment, and I will return with you." She left me in a kind of trance. I was immovable.
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